Bill Cosby was right.

Why are kids so...

(I was going to say "stupid," but I realize that saying that might make me look like a bad person. So I'm not going to say it. But I will think it. And I completely agree with myself.)


(There. Better? I'm glad it makes you feel tingly, cuz I'm still leanging toward "stupid.")

How can a bright, intelligent child act so brainless?!

It's a tale as old as time.

It's the source of high blood pressure everywhere!

It's the reason parents can't wait to head for the hills and just be away.

I try to be a patient mama, but apparently, Lily doesn't like me even-tempered. She likes it when I'm a lunatic. She likes me to be loud and thorny.

She does.

I'm not kidding.

Why else would she ignore me when I'm sweet in my requests?

Why else would she wait to comply until I've lost it and have turned into that raving version of my mother that I swore long ago I'd never turn into?

Why else?!

There can't possibly be another reason.

It's all karma. Krappy Karma.

I remember doing the same thing to my mom. Why, I don't know.

Why don't kids just listen and obey in the beginning?!

Why do they have to turn their mothers into beasts?! Dear Mom...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The voo-doo has worked. You may stop now.


Why don't you want us to be happy?!

Why don't you want us to like you?!

I must say, I'm a little disappointed. I thought I had more time to prepare for this. I thought the brain-damage wouldn't kick until Lily was at least 6 or 7.

Big, fat WRONG-O.

The kids has no fear of me. Not that I want her be afraid of me. But a little, now and then, could come in handy.

I'm keeping a tally, Lily.

One day, when you're older and can actually be phased by punishment...You're grounded. One hour for every day you defy me in your toddlerhoodness.

Looks like you won't be dating till after high school.

Take that!


  1. Hey, just stopped by from MMB. I like your blog! And I can totally relate--my toddler is pretty good about listening to me, but at least once a day he's completely unfazed by anything I say.

  2. Ha ha, sucka!

    You also forgot about the karma of being The Informer when we were kids. That's what really dinged you.

  3. Sigh...It's a phase that I hope and pray every day will pass...or I will eat my children.

  4. One thing I don't get is why is it that kids don't listen when you want them to but they do listen when you don't want them to. Jeremy and I will be in the kitchen and Emily, who is sitting in the living room, listens to our conversations and tries to be a part of them. I don't get it. By the way, this is Nichelle.

  5. Steve and I were just talking about that! Lily will obey the things I don't really care about...and she'll be VERY vigilant about them.

    And Dan, it was your own fault. I had to inform cuz you were rule breakers. That, and I was very insecure. If you took too many pickles, I wasn't gonna get any.

  6. Welcome to parenthood! The problem that has affected parents for generations has hit home for you. Good luck!

  7. And she's not even a teenager yet!
    Doesn't it make you wonder if we get this frustrated with our stubborn children...
    How must Heavenly Father feel when we are stubborn and refuse to listen and obey?


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