Bill Cosby was right.
Why are kids so...
(I was going to say "stupid," but I realize that saying that might make me look like a bad person. So I'm not going to say it. But I will think it. And I completely agree with myself.)
(There. Better? I'm glad it makes you feel tingly, cuz I'm still leanging toward "stupid.")
How can a bright, intelligent child act so brainless?!
It's a tale as old as time.
It's the source of high blood pressure everywhere!
It's the reason parents can't wait to head for the hills and just be away.
I try to be a patient mama, but apparently, Lily doesn't like me even-tempered. She likes it when I'm a lunatic. She likes me to be loud and thorny.
I'm not kidding.
Why else would she ignore me when I'm sweet in my requests?
Why else would she wait to comply until I've lost it and have turned into that raving version of my mother that I swore long ago I'd never turn into?
There can't possibly be another reason.
It's all karma. Krappy Karma.
I remember doing the same thing to my mom. Why, I don't know.
Why don't kids just listen and obey in the beginning?!
Why do they have to turn their mothers into beasts?! Dear Mom...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The voo-doo has worked. You may stop now.
WHY KIDS, WHY?!
Why don't you want us to be happy?!
Why don't you want us to like you?!
I must say, I'm a little disappointed. I thought I had more time to prepare for this. I thought the brain-damage wouldn't kick until Lily was at least 6 or 7.
Big, fat WRONG-O.
The kids has no fear of me. Not that I want her be afraid of me. But a little, now and then, could come in handy.
I'm keeping a tally, Lily.
One day, when you're older and can actually be phased by punishment...You're grounded. One hour for every day you defy me in your toddlerhoodness.
Looks like you won't be dating till after high school.