4.23.2008

Anemophobia

It's been nice here the last couple weeks, so Lily and I have been able to get out and stretch our legs. Our choice of destinations...Now, they use the term "park" here very loosely. It's a square, paved ashpalt path with a soccer field and dead vegetation in the center. It's the same idea as the Jordan River Parkway in SLC...only on a much less grander scale. But, since Roosevelt is seriously lacking sidewalks, I'll take it.

Here's Lily pre-walk. She enjoys it...randomly blurting out verses to "Old McLily" (a.k.a. "Old McDonald"), "London Bridge Is Falling Down", and "If You're Happy and Ya Know It." Nice greenery, huh?
They really spared no expense for the landscaping.
And off to the right, we have a ditch. It's the kind of ditch you always expect to find a dead body in...
Here's one shot of Roosevelt from the path...
And here's a halfy-aerial of another part of Roosevelt...
And there's more of it back in the distance...
It really is pretty from up there...if you look in the right places...
My house is down there somewhere to the way left...
That's a lovely view of my town from the pathway...and a lovely tour of the pathway. May not be much to look at, but my air is cleaner than your air.

So, last week was when we started to get outside and walk. I had the brilliant idea to start doing jogging spurts in the middle of my walks. Now, first understand that I have never enjoyed jogging. I've always believed that no one really enjoys jogging. I mean, look at the people jogging down the street. (If you've ever lived in Provo or SLC...you've seen these obnoxious health freaks...even in a blizzard.) Oh yeah, they're having a fab time...red faces, gasping for breath, big scowls, snuggies...what's not to love? Sign me up!

I, however, decided to give it a try solely for caloric reasons. Facts are facts...and it does burn more calories than walking. So, off I went. And that's when it hit me...I have...an upper butt. I prayed that the people behind me were far enough behind me that they wouldn't feel the change in the earth's pull as my upper butt sent gusts of wind their way...certainly, a close up of all the action would be as unattractive as it felt.

Gasping for air was a hoot as well...not exactly the "natural high" I've heard about. I imagine that if I had kept running, enough oxygen wouldn't been cut off from my brain to simulate being high. Something I'll have to strive for next week.

The whole thing taught me a valuable lesson. I must keep jogging. Why, you ask? Well, I do a good amount of walking and it has never come to my attention that I have two butts. The walking isn't cutting it...literally. Feel the burn, baby. And if I can only feel it when I'm jogging...then I gotta do what I gotta do. Two things I need to keep in mind...One, only jog when no one else is around. Two, the baggier the clothes, the better...it'll lessen the visual that no one wants to see.

So, "How do I know if I have an upper butt?"...no doubt, you're wondering too. Go jog...5 strides is all you really need. You will quickly find out. If you want to remain in the dark, don't do any spontaneous running.

Man. I could really go for some chocolate cake.

10 comments:

  1. heehee...you are brave...i'm not sure i'd get the courage to even try jogging...and, yes i do know all about the 2 butts...hmm i remember back when i had no butt...i guess my 2 butts are trying to make up for my previous lack. oh...btw i tagged you! :)

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  2. Yeah, Jeremy...I ALWAYS carry around a .22 :P

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  3. Jogging/running bites..I totally agree with you. If and when I do jog it is soley for caloric purposes. I too have wondered if people who say they love it are really telling the truth? Yes, I could honestly say I love the results..but the process is horrible.

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  4. LOL! That's just funny.

    You might want to do some other cardio as well as the jogging, to help save your knees. Go to Crossfit.com for all kinds of good substitutes.

    And c'mon Amy, you know you need to get a .22 for when you're out in the great outdoors. You never know when some bad guys are goona escape from the state-of-the-art jail you guys have up there, or when a nice, plump bunny will cross your path. Think of the grocery cash you'll save potting wild game instead of having to plunk down big money on things like beef and chicken.:)

    Hunting with a stroller. I bet you could submit that to Hunting magazine and make a little extra dough.

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  5. Do you have to drive out there or can you walk the the "trail"? That's a good time, I need to be so much better about playing with Mariska, poor thing always has cabin fever

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  6. We drive there. It's not too far. Nothing IN Roosevelt is more than 5 minutes away.

    Since the trail is in city limits, they'd probably frown on the whole hunting thing...

    I think I should inherit one of Grammpa's guns. He would want that.

    I DO need to do something that wouldn't hurt my knees. I have this one knee that burns sometimes for no reason. If I do my step climber thing, it starts up the most. So, I really need to find something I LIKE to do that won't chisel away at my cartilage...losing another 20 pounds probably wouldn't hurt.

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  7. Brent's Dad's knees are terrible, old football injuries, and he cycles about 1,000 miles a week! My mom has arthitic knees and uses a stationary bike... biking and swimming are best for knees

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  8. Lily looks so cute in that hat & glasses! The park.. is.. lacking :( I guess there is something good at Arizona :)

    Not that I go to a park that much, which I should.. I understand about the jogging thing. I dont believe in running, unless someone is chasing you with a sharp object, Then.. I am all for it :)

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  9. Yeah, this walking "park" is pretty drab...at least this time of year. There's an actual park right across the street that I take Lily to after my walk. It's a pretty nice one...lots of shade.

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If you can't say something nice, say it behind my back.