Anemophobia

It's been nice here the last couple weeks, so Lily and I have been able to get out and stretch our legs. Our choice of destinations...Now, they use the term "park" here very loosely. It's a square, paved ashpalt path with a soccer field and dead vegetation in the center. It's the same idea as the Jordan River Parkway in SLC...only on a much less grander scale. But, since Roosevelt is seriously lacking sidewalks, I'll take it.

Here's Lily pre-walk. She enjoys it...randomly blurting out verses to "Old McLily" (a.k.a. "Old McDonald"), "London Bridge Is Falling Down", and "If You're Happy and Ya Know It." Nice greenery, huh?
They really spared no expense for the landscaping.
And off to the right, we have a ditch. It's the kind of ditch you always expect to find a dead body in...
Here's one shot of Roosevelt from the path...
And here's a halfy-aerial of another part of Roosevelt...
And there's more of it back in the distance...
It really is pretty from up there...if you look in the right places...
My house is down there somewhere to the way left...
That's a lovely view of my town from the pathway...and a lovely tour of the pathway. May not be much to look at, but my air is cleaner than your air.

So, last week was when we started to get outside and walk. I had the brilliant idea to start doing jogging spurts in the middle of my walks. Now, first understand that I have never enjoyed jogging. I've always believed that no one really enjoys jogging. I mean, look at the people jogging down the street. (If you've ever lived in Provo or SLC...you've seen these obnoxious health freaks...even in a blizzard.) Oh yeah, they're having a fab time...red faces, gasping for breath, big scowls, snuggies...what's not to love? Sign me up!

I, however, decided to give it a try solely for caloric reasons. Facts are facts...and it does burn more calories than walking. So, off I went. And that's when it hit me...I have...an upper butt. I prayed that the people behind me were far enough behind me that they wouldn't feel the change in the earth's pull as my upper butt sent gusts of wind their way...certainly, a close up of all the action would be as unattractive as it felt.

Gasping for air was a hoot as well...not exactly the "natural high" I've heard about. I imagine that if I had kept running, enough oxygen wouldn't been cut off from my brain to simulate being high. Something I'll have to strive for next week.

The whole thing taught me a valuable lesson. I must keep jogging. Why, you ask? Well, I do a good amount of walking and it has never come to my attention that I have two butts. The walking isn't cutting it...literally. Feel the burn, baby. And if I can only feel it when I'm jogging...then I gotta do what I gotta do. Two things I need to keep in mind...One, only jog when no one else is around. Two, the baggier the clothes, the better...it'll lessen the visual that no one wants to see.

So, "How do I know if I have an upper butt?"...no doubt, you're wondering too. Go jog...5 strides is all you really need. You will quickly find out. If you want to remain in the dark, don't do any spontaneous running.

Man. I could really go for some chocolate cake.