useless & urgent

Something about this time of year hates me.

And I hate something about this time of year.  

I've been lying in bed, trying not to die for the past week and a half. 

I decided I was sick enough to rationalize paying the co-pay, so I went to urgent care.  
The nurse, I'm not so sure she believed me.

"It all started with stomach cramps a few weeks ago.  Then the fevers came.  And then my legs and arms fell asleep permanently...and they're also all cramped up.  Now my mouth is so dry I can hardly talk.  Oh, and I have this huge lump on the back of my skull that really hurts...and it seems to be growing.  And this morning I woke up with red splotches that are covering my entire body!!"

"Really!" the nurse said patronizingly--as if I was a child telling her about the great adventure I just had with Huckleberry Finn. 

"Really."  I said defeated, trying to not sound like one of those Pine-sol-feeding mothers.

"Okay.  Let me get the doctor for you."  I swear I heard her roll her eyes.

In came the doctor...and he told me he wasn't a doctor.  A physicians assistant.  Close...enough?  

Ran through my list again.  

He patted me on the head and sent me out the door with on order for blood tests.

Twenty minutes later, I was back in the exam room.  Dr. Close Enough gave me a copy of the blood test as he went down the list.

"See this number?  How it's really elevated?"

"Yeah?"  I said nervously.

"Well, don't worry about that.  That's perfectly fine.  It won't kill you."

"See this other number?  How it's really low?"

"Yes?"  I said, waiting for some big shoe to drop...

"Well, don't worry about that either.  We like it that low.  It'll be fine."

Big pause.

"Now, this number is what we care about it.  And it's high.  And that could be a problem.  And you are sick.  But..."


"It's nothing to worry about.  Get sleep.  Drink lots of water."


"Oh, have you ever had mono?" 


"Okay.  Just checking."



Nother pause.

"Well, give me a call if anything changes."

I left feeling loved and well cared for.  

Here's to hoping I will be more useful and back to good health next week.

And now I'm ending this post abruptly and without an acceptable conclusion...much like the ending of the last book I read.  


  1. Stupid doctors...uh..."Doctors." I had a doctor tell me I wasn't in labor, and boy was he surprised when he had to run into the delivery room to catch the baby that was popping out of my body. I seriously think that they take everybody for a joke. And it could be the hypochondriacs who frequent their offices...stupid hypochondriacs...

  2. Just wait until we're all under Obamacare. You'll remember this day with fondness as you remember what it used to be like when we had semi-competent doctors and nurses, instead of the under-qualified butchers they'll be sending us to in the years to come.

    Get better, sis. And stop touching strange door knobs and loose change. You don't know where it's been.

  3. So sorry Amy! Hope you get better.

  4. Take Magnessium with Zinc Amy. That will help.

  5. I'm sorry. I think urgent care is depressing. If you don't ever go, you can sit home and imagine that it's a lovely, caring place.

    Whenever I have blood work done, the question is ALWAYS, "Why are your liver enzymes elevated?" Well, YOU are the dr., can you please tell me why one of you always asks me that? Nope.

    Love your ending. What was the book?

  6. Now I'm aching to know,too: what was the book? Hope you got that nap the other day. Let me know if ya need anything else , and lily's always welcome!!

  7. Thanks for the well wishes.

    Marie, that is exactly what I got. I thought I heard somewhere that magnesium helps with leg cramps...and headaches.

    The book was the last Fablehaven. I love the series...but really...he could have come up with a MUCH better ending. It's like he had to go to the bathroom really bad and wanted to wrap the book up before he went.

  8. urgent care sucks.. just educated guessers. I am glad you are feeling better. Hugs!

  9. I was once told by an urgent care doctor my arm wasn't broken when it was swollen and slightly crooked.
    They didn't bother with X Ray's but two weeks later, the pain was so bad Mom took me back to the doctor.
    They sure felt sheepish when they looked at the X Ray's and sure enough two cracks in my radius near the wrist joint.
    Then I got a pretty purple cast and a Blizzard from Dairy Queen and I was all better- well, for the moment.


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