catastrophes & milk

There's something I've learned in my many years of baking:   the better the chocolate chip cookie dough tastes, the crappier the cookie it will make.

And today, I made the most delicious cookie dough in all the kingdom.

It's perfect.  It's creamy.  It's chocolatey.  And I refuse to bake the last 1/4 of it that's sitting in my fridge...

...because, they betrayed me and the oven from whence they were baked.

I give you, Exhibit A:

(Let the record show, that I chose the best cookie to photograph.  No, really.  That's the beauty queen of the bunch.)

You know when you look in the oven, expecting to see cookies rising to the heavens, telling you that in just a few minutes, you will have the most delicious warm cookie to eat with a tall glass of ice cold milk? 

I didn't have that moment.

I felt shamed.  They just sat there...baking...bein' all hideous and lookin' all sad.

Then, as I tried to get them off my super-fantastical-magic golden non-stick pans, I felt more shame.

They wouldn't come off.

And then I laughed.  Cuz what else was I supposed to do?

This was not the cookie baking experience I had envisioned for the afternoon.   

(They looked so bad, that when I gave one to Lily, she said with a face, "Ew.  Well.  I think I can make a cookie out of this."  And then proceeded to mold it into what she thought an proper cookie should look like.)

Where did I go wrong?

I know how to make a freakin' cookie!  I know the science behind every ingredient.  Yet, there they lie...looking as though they were baked by 12-year-old Amy who had come back from a world that didn't have Food Network and Alton Brown to teach it about baking cookies the correct way.

And so, I concede.

Such an epic failure.

Cookies 1, Amy 0.

Until we meet again, Cookie Dough.  Until we meet again.

(There is a happy ending to this story.  The cookies taste really good.  I was judging the book by its cover.  And it's a pretty good book.  Even if it is all flat and a little too brown at the edges.   

And ya know, I bet even Martha made a bad batch of cookies once in her life.)


  1. I have totally had this happen to me before! It's so sad how you can use a recipe over and over and one day it just craps out on you. Glad the story ended happily and they still tasted good! Plus you've got all that yummy dough :)


    That's good stuff.

    Aww, dang. Now I want cookies. I'll even take sad, squashed cookies as long as they're home made.

  3. thats why I use.. the mini packaged ones..
    great cookies, easy, little clean up..
    But! I do really really miss, fresh cookie dough...

  4. Porter is sitting with me and he asked me what that was in the pic! I told him it was a cookie and he asked me if it was old! Sorry Amy! Better luck next time with those cookies!

  5. Yeah this post killed me. I'm so desperate for a cookie right now, I don't care HOW ugly it might be!

  6. Amy, don't give up sometimes when they come out flat you need to add a little more flour!!! The humidity has a lot to do with it....and yes I think Martha failed more times than she lets on! :)

  7. That same thing happen to my YW leader but i ate the cookies anyway cuz they were still good so its true dont judge a cookie by it cover haha :)


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