Amy's Blog

schooled

2011-09-09T14:14:00.001-06:00

Today is Friday. Lily has been in school for 7 days now. That first day was brutal. It was exactly as horrible and depressing as I thought it would be. Since then, there are a few things I've learned.

One, I have serious separation anxiety. Lily. Doesn't.

Two, in just 5 short days, it's possible for a non-morning person to become a morning person. Now, I'm not talking about waking up & hugging rainbows or shooting sunshine out of my ears. I'm just saying that now it only takes me a minimal amount of self-pep-talks to get out of bed & get moving. (The rule remains...I still don't want to talk to you before 9:30 a.m.)

Three, Routine isn't has bad as I thought it would be. I had visions of repression. I fought it taking hold. But there it is. And it's necessary. It feels good to have to do certain things a certain way at certain time on certain days. It's soothing. It feels like...

Four, some people think that if you don't have a kid at home, you have nothing to do. You're couch potato-ing it, eating proverbial bon-bons. Funny, right?

Five, I have a very high tolerance for dust. Really. I don't care if it's there for months. Last Friday, I cleaned the bathrooms to avoid dusting. And it worked. The dust is still there.

Six, my house makes lots of weird noises when I'm alone. Sometimes, it's creepy. Sometimes, I have to look behind the shower curtains to make sure no one is there. Because, if I were a boogie man, that's exactly where I'd hide.

Seven, I've realized how much I find baking to be a calming activity. That stinks. By the time Lily graduates, I'm going to be seven thousand pounds. Seven thousand. And then I'm going to have to bake even more because I'll be so depressed when she leaves me to go to college. It'll be bad. I see Richard Simmons--and a crane--in my future. OR, I can just go with her to college. She will love it.

Speaking of the sugary-hi-carb devil....

I saw this idea on some website. I think it was HowDoesShe, which is also where I got the first day of school sign. Some girl's mom baked a big cookie for her kids on their first day of first grade. I say, a kid should have a big cookie on the first day of every grade.

I made the mistake of writing with gel on a hot cookie. Didn't matter. Still tasted good. It's called an oatmeal chipper cookie. Made in a skillet, in the oven. I don't remember where I got the recipe...or what a chipper is. But it's one of my favorites. Thick and soft. Cut like a pizza.

Lily loved it.

So. There you have it. I survived the first week of school. Please...hold the applause.

summer countdown: bugs, dress-up, & jaxx the ripper

2011-06-13T10:13:00.001-06:00

It's the beginning of the end.

Two and a half months left until my life as I know it is over.

Lily starts kindergarten. I start a routine.

That stinks.

I don't like the thought of either.

I don't like routines. I don't like having to do something cuz some one or some thing is making me. I like going where I want to go when I want to go. (Definitely a perk of having one kid. Much easier travel.)

It's not like I've been traveling the country...seeing far away lands...meeting anyone particularly interesting. But it has been nice getting "out" when I get the itch. My mom calls it Go-itis. Maybe your mom calls it that too. It means, I want to go somewhere...ANYwhere...but I want to go NOW! (Medically speaking, it translates to inflammation of the Go. I'm not sure where my Go is...but it often feels plenty inflamed.)

It's been worse since moving to a small town...far from a big variety of stuff to do.

But I've always been this way. I blame my entire life up until moving here almost FIVE years ago.

When I was a kid, we moved around plenty. When I went to college(s), it was even worse. I averaged a move once every 6 months. First two years of marriage were the same. It wasn't till moving here when I finally quit moving. But that urge to get-outta-here still lingers!

And so, with school nearing closer and closer, so goes my freedom.

Not to mention my baby. (Yeah, that is sad. You should definitely remember to feel sorry for me come August.)

These last few months are my Green Mile. (Too dramatic?)

The goal is to get out as much as I can, while I can.

Our tour begins here.

With little girls and rolly-polly bugs.

So happy.

So carefree.

Never before have sugar & spice ever had so much fun hunting and playing with bugs.

Until...

...This guy showed up. And it was then, all innocence was lost!

Dun, dun, DUUUUUN!!

"Awwww...look at the bug. That's a gross bug."

Look to the left. Look to the right. "Anyone looking?..."

"La, la, la, la..."

"I'm not killing anything. You don't see me. I'm just going to keep quietly destroying whatever is under my shoe."

"Heh heh heh heh."

"My work here is done. Time for play."

To know him, is to love him.

And there you have it.

Next time, we'll explore a rest stop and the shores of the Green River.

mels

2011-04-26T14:11:00.002-06:00

It's going to take about a hundred years to catch up from the last few months. So it'll come in little snip-its here and there.

Right now, these photos of my sis and sis-in-law (the Mels) are bringing me the greatest of giggles. Maybe it's a you-had-to-be-there deal...but I was there. And believe me. It was funny.

First, you have to know that my little sister, Melani, is gorgeous. But she has mastered the art of looking really ugly when the occasion calls for it.

Second, my sis-in-law, Melissa, is the ultimate poser. And for that, I am grateful when I pull out the camera. She can vogue with the best of them.

I gave Melani the assignment of looking as absolutely hideous and she could. Melissa was told to embody supermodel.

Melani wasn't giving me enough grotesque. I told her, "You must COMMIT to the ugly!"

And she did.

It turned into, "Pretend you're going to eat Melissa and Melissa, you look really scared!"

I love Melissa's woman-in-distress.

Next, we have what I can only attribute to being completely slap happy. This is what happens when you just let the fun fly.

I give you...

...The Two-Woman Wave.

Linking up over at:

dimples

2011-02-24T16:33:00.004-07:00

Happy to report that there are no more sickies here and this wretched month is almost over.

We're back to eating cake and partying like it's 1999.

P.S. I would be remiss if I did not say that I'm grateful for this last week and how good it has actually been. Being on one's wish-I-was-dead-bed puts little things --like, being able to lather, rinse, repeat without pain-- into perspective.

useless & urgent

2011-02-17T17:09:00.005-07:00

Something about this time of year hates me.

And I hate something about this time of year.

I've been lying in bed, trying not to die for the past week and a half.

I decided I was sick enough to rationalize paying the co-pay, so I went to urgent care.

The nurse, I'm not so sure she believed me.

"It all started with stomach cramps a few weeks ago. Then the fevers came. And then my legs and arms fell asleep permanently...and they're also all cramped up. Now my mouth is so dry I can hardly talk. Oh, and I have this huge lump on the back of my skull that really hurts...and it seems to be growing. And this morning I woke up with red splotches that are covering my entire body!!"

"Really!" the nurse said patronizingly--as if I was a child telling her about the great adventure I just had with Huckleberry Finn.

"Really." I said defeated, trying to not sound like one of those Pine-sol-feeding mothers.

"Okay. Let me get the doctor for you." I swear I heard her roll her eyes.

In came the doctor...and he told me he wasn't a doctor. A physicians assistant. Close...enough?

Ran through my list again.

He patted me on the head and sent me out the door with on order for blood tests.

Twenty minutes later, I was back in the exam room. Dr. Close Enough gave me a copy of the blood test as he went down the list.

"See this number? How it's really elevated?"

"Yeah?" I said nervously.

"Well, don't worry about that. That's perfectly fine. It won't kill you."

"See this other number? How it's really low?"

"Yes?" I said, waiting for some big shoe to drop...

"Well, don't worry about that either. We like it that low. It'll be fine."

Big pause.

"Now, this number is what we care about it. And it's high. And that could be a problem. And you are sick. But..."

But?

"It's nothing to worry about. Get sleep. Drink lots of water."

"Okay."

"Oh, have you ever had mono?"

"No."

"Okay. Just checking."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

Nother pause.

"Well, give me a call if anything changes."

I left feeling loved and well cared for.

Here's to hoping I will be more useful and back to good health next week.

And now I'm ending this post abruptly and without an acceptable conclusion...much like the ending of the last book I read.

catastrophes & milk

2011-01-26T16:27:00.005-07:00

There's something I've learned in my many years of baking: the better the chocolate chip cookie dough tastes, the crappier the cookie it will make.

And today, I made the most delicious cookie dough in all the kingdom.

It's perfect. It's creamy. It's chocolatey. And I refuse to bake the last 1/4 of it that's sitting in my fridge...

...because, they betrayed me and the oven from whence they were baked.

I give you, Exhibit A:

(Let the record show, that I chose the best cookie to photograph. No, really. That's the beauty queen of the bunch.)

You know when you look in the oven, expecting to see cookies rising to the heavens, telling you that in just a few minutes, you will have the most delicious warm cookie to eat with a tall glass of ice cold milk?

I didn't have that moment.

I felt shamed. They just sat there...baking...bein' all hideous and lookin' all sad.

Then, as I tried to get them off my super-fantastical-magic golden non-stick pans, I felt more shame.

They wouldn't come off.

And then I laughed. Cuz what else was I supposed to do?

This was not the cookie baking experience I had envisioned for the afternoon.

(They looked so bad, that when I gave one to Lily, she said with a face, "Ew. Well. I think I can make a cookie out of this." And then proceeded to mold it into what she thought an proper cookie should look like.)

Where did I go wrong?

I know how to make a freakin' cookie! I know the science behind every ingredient. Yet, there they lie...looking as though they were baked by 12-year-old Amy who had come back from a world that didn't have Food Network and Alton Brown to teach it about baking cookies the correct way.

And so, I concede.

Such an epic failure.

Cookies 1, Amy 0.

Until we meet again, Cookie Dough. Until we meet again.

(There is a happy ending to this story. The cookies taste really good. I was judging the book by its cover. And it's a pretty good book. Even if it is all flat and a little too brown at the edges.

And ya know, I bet even Martha made a bad batch of cookies once in her life.)

{simple things} sign of wrinkles

2011-01-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

Wrinkly little fingers and l-o-v-e.

What could be better than that?

wiggle worm at rest {tints}

2011-01-19T09:08:00.000-07:00

I like this photo of Lily.

She's serene and still. Something that doesn't happen very often. Like, hardly at all.

She can't help herself.

But it's nice when, sometimes, she...just...sits. I feel like I can breathe.

And then in 4 seconds she gets over it and is back to bouncing off the walls.

hanging out

2011-01-17T13:24:00.007-07:00

The thermometer actually says 44 degrees. FOURTY-FOUR! Can you believe it?

And it scares me just a little. Cuz if it's that warm in Roosevelt--in January--we're in for it.

But it won't be too long until the big thaw.

Until then, we're just chillaxin' round here; making masterpieces out of Playdough and putting on fightin' the fever!

(Steve hates that word. And you know what that means? I have to slip it into conversation as much as I possibly can. The 9 year old in me likes to poke him with a stick.)

post it.

2011-01-13T16:11:00.000-07:00

Do you hate blogging?

Cuz I think I do.

I didn't used to. I used to love it. It was fun. An extracurricular activity I regularly took part in.

Then real-life people would tell me they read my blog, followed by a compliment of some sort. (That's nice. Thank you. I appreciate the love.)

And then...I closed up. Super tight. I was Mary Katherine Gallagher--nervous, anxious...sweaty. Maybe a little paranoid.

I didn't like people knowing my business. (Uh, that's what a blog is, right?)

I liked the mostly anonymity of blogging. I told a handful of people I had one. And then, if someone in cyberEarth happened upon it--so what? They don't know me. I don't know them. I won't run into them in the grocery store and have to talk about what I wrote. (Like, why would I want to do that anyway? I wrote it. I know what's there.)

So, pretty soon after I started getting feedback from these real-live people, I felt I had to come up with something read-worthy for every post. Something profound and interesting. It was annoying. So over the past year, I haven't wanted to write much. It hasn't been fun.

But then a few weeks ago during Christmas dinner, my brother mentioned the time I killed my cat. (I don't remember why. Surely, I was being mocked.)

I started thinking about that paper I wrote in my BYU English class. It was about my dead cat. When I was eight. I killed it. I'm not weird. (I mention BYU for one reason: to show that my target audience may or may not have fully appreciated a story about an animal killing.)

This paper was a zinger. Classic. A shining moment in my academic past.

When the assignment was given, we were first instructed to write about an experience that changed our lives somehow. It was to be written as a personal narrative. And while others were writing about their missions, a car accident, their high school graduation, I chose to write about Fluffy and the day the music died.

Paper written. Peer edited. Professor approved. Done.

The next week, we were given another assignment. We were to write about the same experience from a perspective of someone else who was involved. I thought about it. Who else was there? No one. Just me and the cat. Dead cat.

I told my sister about my dilemma. Lo and behold, she had been there! She remembers how it all went down. Only three at the time.

She told me what she remembered and off I went. I told her story. The story of a three year old baby...watching as the fate of Fluffy unraveled.

Then the next week came. I was apparently not done telling the story of a girl and her cat. My professor instructed, "Now you need to come up with one more perspective to write from. Something non-human. An object. A tree. A fly on the wall, literally."

Well, hot dog! And phew! Cuz I only had one more character in my story. (My ego and I couldn't help thinking that she had my story in mind when making this assignment...)

Delving into the mind of Fluffy was an exercise I did not soon forget. To tell her tale from her perspective was eye opening. I ended her story in a very sad tone. Cuz it was. Fluffy's last words were full of confusion and panic. The cat I begged for and loved was gone. Gone. GONE!!

The final assignment was to put all the perspectives together into one paper; into one full, well- rounded story. So I did. And I got an A.

I'm sure by now you're wondering, what's your point? (And if you're a sibling, you're thinking, "Uh huh...heard it. What's your point?") And I'm not sure how my essay story relates to this post, but here's my point:

I like writing stuff. I don't always like writing stuff that means anything to anyone. I like typing just to type. It's fun. I like seeing how fast I can type without messing up.

I like the date on top of blog post to be recent. It makes me feel...like I'm on the ball. Even though, if I never wrote another post it wouldn't throw my world off its axis or yours. Everything would be fine.

But I miss the days of "Tags" and "Look at the booger my daughter picked!" When everything was simple and nobody cared what you wrote so long as you wrote. Remember those days? Before Facebook?

I remember it. I liked it.

So, I'm going to pretend that you aren't reading my blog and go back to writing anything and nothing and whatever.

Ham.

2010-12-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

Have a good one!

thoughts of the day

2010-12-21T15:15:00.003-07:00

Did you see Martha Stewart today?

She made these:

They totally look like peaches...but they're actually cake.

I probably will never make them. I just think they're really pretty...and clever.

Speaking of Martha...

I enjoy watching her mannerisms. She's so controlling and doesn't care if she makes her guests feel like children. If it weren't rude, I'd admire it.

Speaking of someone who likes cleanliness...

If you need a last minute Christmas present for that hard-to-shop-for clean freak in your life, buy them this: (the clouds part, the heavens open, angelic choirs join in chorus...) the Libman Freedom Spray Mop.

I (in my best Grinch voice) LOATHE mopping. Hate it. Hate it. Triple hate it. It bites. It's too time consuming. It's a hassle. I'd rather clean a toilet...without gloves on. Mopping is awful.

Until now!

I got this mop a month or so back and it's super-fantastic! If I were a broom, I'd marry it.

It's also pretty inexpensive. Only $20 at Target and the cleaner costs pennies. I just use vinegar and water, which does an excellent job of cleaning most anything. And it's quick. I don't have to move every piece of kitchen furniture to do it and I mop a lot more often.

And if you're one of those people who think, "That is a stupid present. Who would want that for Christmas?!" Well, then, you're right. Don't get this for someone as a Christmas present. It'd be right up there with getting deodorant in your stocking. "Merry Christmas, you stink!"..."Merry Christmas, my feet stick to your floor!"

But it is an awesome mop. Just so you know.

In other news, the snow finally came. With vengeance. I think I'm not going anywhere for a few days. (Why do people like taking picture of the snow at their houses?)

Hello, White.

I wish I took a better picture of this:

I spent a good half hour out there knocking the snow off the canopy. It wasn't fun. I ripped a hole in it. Who knew snow could be so heavy? I got snow in my ears. And down the back of my coat. And my fingers temporarily lost any sensation.

I'm good now. But like I said, won't be going anywhere for a few days.

Which leads me to the rest of this post. Stuff I saved for a rainy (snowy) day.

This is my Christmas tree. In bokeh. Blur is beautiful.

This is Steve's birthday cake. Carrot. The best carrot cake I've ever had. It's from my favorite people at Cook's Country. (Thank you, D.I. for having this glorious cookbook for only $3. Although, I'm a little shocked that someone had the nerve to give this book away!) I may post the recipe later. Mmm. It was good.

There's no real reason for this next picture. Other than, I like it. I made seasonal "T"s to go on my wall. This is the Christmas T. Steve says it looks like a "J".

This is Steve? Isn't he handsome. His face shines in the glow of the computer screen.

This is me. Steve took it. I don't know when. But it was in my camera. He did a good job.

Aren't you jealous of my lusciously full lashes? (Yeah, they're there. Look harder.)

Here's my beloved brother. He drove all the way here last week (2 1/2 hours away) to rescue me from my own technological stupidity. He saved me exactly $1,995.00.

"What a brother. What a sweet, wonderful guy..."

More lovely bokeh. Just cuz I like it. I'll be sad when Christmas is over and there won't be as many twinkly lights to take pictures of.

And lastly for your tour through my rainy day post:

Have a nice day.

oh, construction paper tree...how lovely are thy branches

2010-12-13T15:57:00.004-07:00

HERE's a fun Christmas craft from simple as that.

This is our version.

It's always nice getting back to stuff you'd do in elementary school.

Happy Gluing!

looking a lot like Christmas

2010-12-09T16:14:00.003-07:00

This past weekend was spent in the city...in A city. A city bigger than my city...where we went to many many stores, Temple Square, and The Lion House Pantry .

I ate way too much...because that's what you do when you go there.

Eight people cut in front of us while we were in line. (Forty minutes of knee-slapping fun.) I was mad. The fifth-grader inside of me came out and wanted to tattle on them...to someone. Anyone. There was no one. So I ranted and raved real good to Steve. He looked at me and nodded. Good guy, that Steve.

Inconsiderate people drive me crazy. Especially at Christmas time when I'm trying to be jolly and full of good, GOOD cheer.

People, far and wide...lend me thine ear! This holiday season, if you get to a restaurant before the rest of your party, wait at the end of the line until everyone arrives and then proceed to take your places. One or two people is no big deal, but don't let every member of your extended family cut in front of all the hungry people behind you. We have children. We have control issues. We are this close to gutting you like a fish. And you are a poopy pants.

Back to my evening.

Temple Square was packed. Like sardines. It was pretty though. You can see the Salt Lake City Temple in pictures a hundred times but never get over how awesome it is in person. Especially with all the lights.

Growing up, it was just an expected thing to go see the lights at the Mesa Temple. It was easy. But going to see them in SLC is an event. Lots of walking. Lots of waiting.

But it was worth it. There's a lot of cool stuff there this year that I don't remember from the last time I went.

And we were able to walk off dinner when we were done and journeyed back to the car. (...Parked in a far away land called South Salt Lake City. Okay, not that far. But it was getting close.)

This (below) was my favorite. (And is deceitfully void of people in the background. Don't let it fool you. There were hoards of people just to the right, in front of the nativity. I couldn't even worm my way in.)

It was a four-day weekend for us. Three of those days spent shopping. Everywhere. Three LONG days. My feet hurt.

And after the three long days of shopping, we concluded that most of our shopping would be done online.

It wasn't a total waste though. Mrs. Fields had a buy 3 cookies, get 3 cookies free. You better believe I bought at least three cookies.

(I think I am actually addicted to the chewy fudge cookies. But you wouldn't like 'em. They're too rich. Not for the faint of tummy, or the weak of palate.)

(I just looked, Mrs. Fields will send me some of these delights for the low low price of $29.99!

Got that, Santa?!)

See latest Photoblog post HERE and HERE.

ode to a tree sorta...& and a lens

2010-12-02T13:44:00.008-07:00

So, it's cold. It's winter. It's Christmas-time.

Time for baked goods. Time for A Charlie Brown Christmas. Time to spend money on something stupid and irresponsible...but justifying that, "Hey, it's Christmas!"

Ahhh, Christmas.

First thing on the list was getting a tree.

A real one.

I'm not a die hard have-to-have-a-real-tree person. And I'm not a fake-trees-are better person. I like what's easier. And this year, what's easier is only spending $10 on a tree. (Maybe when the smoke clears and stuff goes on clearance, we'll get a nice fake one for those years I'm feeling lazy.)

We went up this way to get it...

Pretty, right? There's my town. We Rooseveltites...(...Rooseveltonians? ...Roosevelters? Still not clear on that...)...really are lucky to live in a this close to the mountains.

And this, this is just a picture of Lily. We were waiting for something...so I pulled out the camera.

I am inlove with this lens. Truly in-love...as inlove with an inanimate object as a person could be. (It's a 50mm. In case you were wondering. Frackin' awesome blurage.)

Mostly, this was a very non-interactive Christmas tree excursion. Lily, me, and some of her cousins hung out on the road, while Steve and his bro went hunting for the tree on a snowmobile way back there.

I was content with the situation.

"Oh, Mommy...I have a snowball for you..."

"Lily...you do it...you die."

She did not choose...poorly.

We did lots of waiting around on this day...deep snow, trucks stuck, traffic on the road (many other tree-getters about that day), etc.

Lily's arm. Her cousin's head.

All in all, a good time. A mellow time. If I hadn't had to pee for 2 hours, it would have been even better. I coulda gotten a nice mountain nap or somethin'.

Notice, I don't have a picture of the tree. That's cuz Steve stuck it in the back of the truck really quick and after that, I lost interest.

Besides, you all know what a pine tree looks like. It's green. It has needles. It's in my living room. (For a while there, it was almost invisible next to my green walls. We since put lights and ornaments on it, so now it's much more noticeable.)

But, I did take a few pictures of a couple ornaments, not because I want to show you what's on my tree...but because, yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen...I wanna marry this lens. And since my time with it is limited, (borrowing it), I'm going to be just that obnoxious.

Speaking of pictures, I made some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. They were really good. Better than pcc cookies or ppc bread. I have finally found my favorite. Pumpkins and chocolate chip are best when enjoyed in muffin form. And here's the recipe which I'm giving 5 gold stars.

They're so good, they're like after-dinner mints. Only not chalky. Or gross. You'll want to pop one in right after dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. And I have. Because I am a baked-goods pig.

...the muffins were nestled all snug in their beds...

Dan, my brotha-from-the-same-motha, I thought of you whilst I was eating them. Don't know why. Just thought it was a moment you should have been sharing with me.

And that's my December thus far. There is a whole day's worth of pictures from a local-ish "fair" type thing...but that's for another day, another post, another hour needing killed.

Hope everyone has a happy season and I will give you my wish list upon request.

yee haw!

2010-11-09T11:50:00.001-07:00

When Steve and I were dating, he made me go horseback riding.

On a stupid horse.

It bucked (violently threw) me off.

I landed flat on my back. In some pokey weeks. And clumps of hardened mud.

I hate that horse.

Fortunately, Lily has never been so violated by a horse. I figured I shouldn't let me fears stop her from trying when we were invited to go last week.

I even got on one. (I may show a picture of that later.) It turned out to be pretty fun. ...Aside from the end when I realized my cell phone was no longer in my back pocket and Sherry and I had to hoof it on foot around the entire field looking for it. It only took 21 missed calls to locate it.

And she made a pretty darn cute cowgirl for Halloween.

liza-minnelli

2010-11-08T16:52:00.002-07:00

This is Liza, my niece.

She is the actually the cutest baby alive.

I'm editing her pictures, (of which she really needs little...cuz she's a baby and babies are perfect), and this one makes me feel truly happy...

...nothing better than bright blue eyes and drool.

magnifico!

2010-10-19T13:18:00.020-06:00

I might be a bias son-of-a-gun.

(Who isn't about their kid?)

But I think this is right up there with da Vinci.

Gives me a warm, tingly feeling.

(...and no. I don't need to go potty.)

a whole lot of whole lot

2010-10-11T18:19:00.003-06:00

This is a really long post.

But tt's been a while.

Long while.

Been busy.

I went to Idaho.

Lily had a birthday.

We ate lots of cake. (Three diff ones. One pound gained for each.)

I read a book. (Good book, sucko movie. Tell you 'bout it later.)

I changed my stale background. (Not festive, but happy nonetheless.)

I had a class.

I worked on my other site. (Still working on it. Show you soon.)

I took pictures.

And I did 234 loads of laundry.

Busy.

I have a couple pictures for you.

Birthday girl.

Here's cake #1. Got the idea from Family Fun magazine. These were for her "birthday playdate" the day before her birthday. (I'm really not into bday parties with games and structure. So much easier.)

Note: crowns will eventually melt into a puddle if not refrigerated.

Cake #2. Classic Dunlap style. Mostly just did it so she would actually be able to blow out candles ON her birthday. It was a tiered Ding Dong masterpiece.

Cake #3. It reminded me of a pink and yellow woolly mammoth...with sprinkles. This was for the day after her birthday.

Next year: one cake. I think that's enough.

Pictures from shooting my sis and family:

It was fun.

So was taking this girl's pictures. She's super gorgeous. The camera loved her so.

And that is her natural hair color. Some people have all the luck. And the beauty.

There will be more of her to come. (Pins and needles. I know you're sitting on them!)

We also so went on a couple drives over the last few weeks. So here are some pictures from that and just whatever else I feel like sticking in. Not too much in the mood to type. So use your imagination.

Cows. In the road. Not too much to explain there. Just thought it was funny. Steve didn't.

Pretty.

The ugly-pretty pose is a favorite of hers.

You gotta...

This was a very patriotic canyon. Awesome.

This side of a mountain has a painted on flag and says "Remember the Maine" (--U.S.S Maine) and some other stuff. Like it.

At a park in front of the mountain.

And here's us. We had some time to kill before church. That's right...BEFORE church. It was a miracle. I have high hopes of it happening again. But seeing that church is going to start at 9 a.m. come January...it's probably in vain.

That's enough. I'm done. I'm taking too much time. I have laundry to do and dinner to make.

(Honestly, I'm not going to make any. But I'll go and think about doing it and then decide I feel too crappy and/or tired to do it. So we'll probably just have cereal. Or Ramen. Or nothing. I'm good with that too. Nothing requires even less work than cereal. Looks like I have a plan.)

melon head

2010-09-06T21:44:00.008-06:00

I very recently used my sister as a guinea pig.

She's a gorgeous guinea pig...and a bit goofy.

Wonder if it sucks to be that beautiful.

A famous man (Jack Black as Shallow Hal) once said, "Skinny girls aren't funny! And they certainly aren't nice!"

Never met Mel.

I like her.

Rest of photos coming soon--spit and polish included.

caller i.d.

2010-08-30T14:02:00.000-06:00

Saw this in Family Fun magazine and thought it was a good idea.

It's a bracelet with your cell number on the beads so if you get separated from your kid somewhere, there's a way for whoever finds your kid to call you.

You can, of course, make it more exciting than the one I made. I wanted one that would go with anything.

Though now that I think about it, it'd be a good idea to make one with some really florescent/loud beads. What harm would the extra highlighting do?

The whole thing cost about 4 bucks. I could only find the number beads online---buck fifty for 100 of 'em.

They're cheaper and last longer than the i.d. tattoos that cost $10 a pop.

She's pumped about it.

only in a small town

2010-08-13T11:56:00.004-06:00

I was driving down the road yesterday.

Behold.

I saw a llama.

A huge llama.

In someone's front yard.

Tied up with a leash.

(Notice. The leash.)

Like a puppy dog.

Just chillin'.

Gotta love this town.

some days...

2010-08-06T17:00:00.008-06:00

...just make you wanna sigh.

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope..."

2 Nephi 31:20

watch out project runway...

2010-08-04T11:10:00.000-06:00

...Cuz the kid's into haute couture!

Made from the finest newspaper donated by Pet Vet Barbie and her puppies.

still yummy

2010-08-03T14:34:00.002-06:00

I made these again.

They're so good.

I'm telling you.

You gotta try 'em.

(Sil, I'll bring you some!)

baldo steve-o

2010-07-30T23:16:00.003-06:00

Steve shaved his head.

He has a nice head with a cute little strawberry patch at the bottom. Right where Lily does.

(He also has nice hair when he gives it a chance.)

Kind of reminds me of something...

...Ah HA! I've got it!...

He always was a bright kid.

a little less drew

2010-07-29T21:48:00.002-06:00

Anyone else think there's something wrong with this picture?

First the hair. Then the glasses. And now the bowl full of jelly.

You know what always happens to fat, funny people after they lose weight?

No longer funny.

Pity.

regularity never tasted so good

2010-07-29T10:41:00.015-06:00

Here's another fiber-tastic recipe. And these are actually good right out of the oven.

Could almost pass for a cupcake...

...A nice chocolaty-make-your-bowels-slippery-and-slidey-cupcake.

from BettyCrocker.com

Double-Chocolate Muffins

1	cup Fiber One® original bran cereal (I used regular Post Bran Flakes...result was really good.)
1 1/3	cups buttermilk
1/4	cup canola or vegetable oil
1	egg
3/4	cup packed brown sugar
1/2	cup Gold Medal® whole wheat flour
1/2	cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1/2	cup unsweetened baking cocoa
1	teaspoon baking soda
1	teaspoon vanilla
1/4	teaspoon salt
1/3	cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips



	Print these coupons...





	About Concordance™

	Heat oven to 375°F. Place paper baking cup in each of 12 regular-size muffin cups. Place cereal in resealable food-storage plastic bag; seal bag and crush with rolling pin or meat mallet (or crush in food processor).
	In medium bowl, mix crushed cereal and buttermilk; let stand 5 minutes. Stir in oil and egg. Stir in remaining ingredients except chocolate chips. Stir in chocolate chips. Divide batter evenly among muffin cups.
	Bake 15 to 20 minutes (I don't know if it's my high altitude or what, but they only take half that time for me. Just keep an eye on them and don't overbake!) or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Immediately remove from pan. Serve warm.

Good stuff. Post-edit: I made these again today--8-3-10--and they are just as good as can be. You won't find a moister muffin around. You won't!

brown-ie [brou-nee]: a tiny, fanciful, good-natured brown elf who secretly helps at night with household chores.

2010-07-24T18:20:00.010-06:00

Anyone see the episode of Losing It With Jillian where she made brownies?

They looked good, despite the fact that they're supposed to be healthier than regular brownies.

I made them this afternoon.

They were...weird.

I used freshly ground wheat flour. And they were...weird.

The kind of weird that you can't figure out what's weird about them, so you can't really decide if you like them or not...

...I'll have to keep eating them to make up my mind.

I added a bunch of chocolate chips, which I think saved them. I'm getting my fiber...coated in chocolate. I call that a win-win.

Here's the recipe if you wanna.

I'm warning you. They're...weird.

But if you like to be regular, I say go for it.

(Later that day...

As the day has gone on, and I've nibbled on them more and more, they've become better and better. They taste especially good after pizza.)

(The next day...

After 24 hours, they turn into a completely different food. NOW they taste like a dessert!)

the almost campout

2010-07-20T18:03:00.000-06:00

I live in a pretty place.

Here's some shots of a recently attempted camping trip--roughly 40 miles away.

Really pretty day. Really nice drive.

Twenty miles in, we went from some 79 degrees to 30 something. Burrr. I like it.

You can still see remnants of the big fire from a few years ago.

All the new growth makes the landscape look awesome.

It was raining/snowing/slushing when we got to the campsite. I decided it wasn't for me. I wasn't in the mood to rough it AND be soggy 'n wet. (Not too mention the bathroom was too far to walk to in the mud. The words "Big Wussy" come to mind.)

But we waited and watched Steve as he put up the tent.

He wasn't going to let a little bad weather take camping away from him. I'm not as loyal to the Nature.

We spent a good while in the car, silently cheering him on. What a good job. The Boy Scouts of America would have been proud.

The only time in her life she's ever not wanted her picture taken.

But that didn't last long.

After Steve put the tent up, the rain quit. We decided that Lily and I would go home after dinner. (Who can pass up fire-cooked hot dogs and S'mores? If you say, "ME!" Well that's just sad and your life has no meaning.)

Steve took off in search of dry fire wood. Lily and I found things to entertain us. Like crackers. And deer. This was a hot spot for them.

We spent a little time there after dinner was over. Fishing. Walking around. Taking pictures. Smelling things.

Sassy pants.

Lily and I left before it got dark and Steve stayed behind to be a boy and do boy thing. And we had a girls' slumber party and did girl things.

No. Not many pictures of me. Only a couple of double-chinned pictures that Lily took of me in the car while we were waiting around. And being my blog, I have the option of only showing the good...not the bad and/or the ugly. I just hope my posterity realizes I DID exist.

strawberries, ymmmmmm

2010-07-06T15:05:00.000-06:00

Friedrick told you, Father. We were berry picking. --I forgot! You were berry picking!

Yes, we love berry picking. --All afternoon?

We picked thousands! --Thousands?

They were all over the place. --What kind of berries?

Blueberries, sir. --Blueberries. It's too early for blueberries.

They were strawberries. --Strawberries?

It's been so cold lately, they turned blue. --Very well. Show me the berries.

We. . . . --Well. . . . Show me the berries you picked.

We don't have them anymore. --You don't have them anymore? What happened to them?

We. . . . We ate them.

Good movie.

Good scene.

I don't have much of a garden this year. Just strawberries.

Last year taught me how hard having a big garden was. So I'm taking the year off...except for the strawberries.

Which are perennials.

So I have no choice.

And boy, do I have a recipe for you.

Step right up for the most scrumptious little cheesecake bite of your life!

You just cream a package of CREAM CHEESE together with 1/3 cup sugar.

Then you add 2 1/4 cup COOL WHIP to it.

Next, add a VANILLA WAFER into the bottom of muffin cups--mini or medium sized.

Put the cream cheese filling into a zip lock bag and pipe some nice billowing globs on top of each wafer.

Refrigerate an hourish.

Top with whatever...STRAWBERRIES and lightly toasted COCONUT are my favorite.

Bet you can't eat just five.

234 years ago

2010-07-04T17:55:00.000-06:00

Happy 4th of July.

I'm grateful to live in a free country.

And that I can sleep peaceful in my bed at night thanks to the Revolutionaries in 1776...

...and that she can too.

Ain't it the cutest thing.

pointy-eared sneaks

2010-06-21T16:26:00.009-06:00

I feel violated by the Keebler Elves.

I love these cookies. They're delicious. And they have the perfect amount of sogginess when you dip them in milk.

When I eat them, I usually have four...or five or seven at a time. What's the harm? They're just little cookies with "m&m's."

Last week, Steve went and read the nutritional facts to me...

...And I was horrified.

First of all, one cookie--ONE--is a serving size.

One of anything should never be a serving size. And if it is, they should put it in BIG BOLD LETTERS next to the brand name! Or like a king size Snickers...Yeah. You know what you're getting there because it says "KING SIZE" in all caps! There's no surprise. That "KING SIZE" is letting you know, "Hey fatty! You eat me, and I see an assortment of brightly colored stretchy pants in your future."

But not here. It's in little bitty letters on the back. In black and white. And NOT all caps.

As if the fact that ONE lone cookie being a serving size isn't bad enough--one of these has 80 calories. Eighty! They are good, but they don't deserve 80 calories. Maybe 40. Or even 60. But 80!?

It's a conspiracy to keep me fat. I just know it.

That means, each time I decide to break into them, I'm downing, on average, 400 calories!!! FOUR HUNDRED FRICKIN' CALORIES!

(It was then that all of it --the extra pounds, the extra sweat, the afternoon naps-- made sense...)

Moral of the story: Never trust elves.

Also, read nutritional labels.

{On the other hand, visit Keebler's website when you get a minute. It's great! There's a lot of recipes...a place where you can meet the elves (which sounds FAScinating)...and other fun stuff.}

funny in the a.m.

2010-06-14T01:50:00.002-06:00

It's too late, or early, (depending on your sleeping habits) for me to be interesting all on my own.

Here's some funny for your Monday morning. (All hilarity brought to you by Babies Making Faces Dot Com):

"Dear Mom, you're doing it wrong!"

And:

"Does this thing have breaks?!"

Or:

"How original..."

Then there's:

"If you keep real quiet...no one will get hurt."

And my favorite:

"IMPOSTER!!!!!"

Ha ha ha ha! Seriously. Hahaha! Is it just me? Or is that not hilarious? Maybe I've reached slap happy status already!

...and i'm in it

2010-06-09T11:41:00.004-06:00

I have a sister-in-law that is both wise and deep.

She says, "This is my life. And I'm in it."

Ain't that the truth?

You can't fight it. You just have to live it.

So you really, and I mean REALLY, have to savor the little things. Even when you have to force yourself to make something little seem like it's what's making your life worth living. Sometimes, grasping at straws is all ya got.

Yesterday, there were a few things that gave me small moments of satisfaction and contentment.

Fablehaven.

I can really only give an opinion up to 3/4 of the way through book two, (that was a mouthful). But they're awesome so far. The story is great and you don't have to put too much mental energy into reading it.

And all the characters are likable. (Even puss-oozing goblins who kiss 14 year old girls. That's right...now don't you want to read it?)

And I hear a movie is going to be made. I can SO see this being a movie. (Now, if we can just keep every director and writer of Twilight away from this project, it'll be a must see!)

Next on my gee-I'm-glad-for-the-little-things list: the tacklebox briefcase.

You know you can't get Caboodles at Walmart anymore? And I mean the big plastic, tacky 90's versions. I have a ton of stuff for doing Lily's hair and it was overtaking her little bath caddie.

So, instead, I found a plastic tackle/tool box thing with little cubbies. Seems to work great. (Although, I'd still love a Caboodle so I could put hair creme and a spray bottle in it. So if you know where to get them, let me know.)

Kind of bad-A for hair accessories, right? Makes me feel like a hair-gangsta when I'm carrying it. And only $5. Not bad.

The third goody is this food chopper.

I originally saw how totally awesome food choppers were on What Would Brian Boitano Make.

First of all, if you haven't seen it...you should. It's one of the better Food Network shows. Not boring and blah like 3/4 of them. Brian is absolutely delightful with subtle gay notes.

He's just super-fantastic...just like the scrarf around his neck.

I used the chopper yesterday for onions. It was the most joyful onion-cutting I've ever done. No crying involved.

That was yesterday.

I wonder what will make bring me little moments of contentment today. (I see a fruit salad in my future.)

the phat diaries

2010-06-07T14:42:00.014-06:00

I don't remember where I heard it, but this is what I heard...

"Blahdee blah blah...and during the summer, when people eat less...blah blah blahdee blah..."

I missed that memo.

Do you eat less in the summer?

Maybe it's true?
If I do eat less, it is certainly not a conscious choice. If I do eat less, it certainly does not mean I eat better. There's a lot of ice cream and cereal involved. And strangely enough, I really get in the mood for chowder during the summer...which is basically just fat, cream, and potato. All fabulous choices. Plus, now I've decided that I cannot live without Drumsticks

So that's good.

I feel fat.

Every time I feel this way, I think back to being 13 years old and those adolescent boys and the drive-by mocking of my mass.

They win. I give up.

I AM fat.

They didn't know my name, so they called it like they saw it.

Fat.

"Hey, Fat!" to be precise.

Nothing else.

No "Hey Blimpo...too many twinkies!"

Or "You're so fat, a picture of you would fall off the wall!"

No insults to go with the Name.

Just Fat.

That is sad.

Fortunately, it was the only time in my life someone has insulted the pudge.

Well, today I feel I'm living up to the namesake so sensitively bestowed upon me by those ruthless little snots.

I wish I wanted to be on a diet. It doesn't sound fun. DIE-t. Die. Death. Horribleness. The end. Nobody wants that.

And I love how now days people don't use the term "diet" as much. They say "lifestyle change." Cuz I'm stupid. I don't know you're trying to trick me. Same ugly idea, wrapped in a pretty little Zen package.

Lifestyle change.

I want a lifestyle change...

I don't want to sweat so much.

Is it just me? Or is anyone else sweating as much as I am this summer?

"You know, when you're a fat guy you don't need a reason to sweat. Guys come up to me and go 'Jeez... what have you been doing - jumping rope in the attic or something?'...'Umm, no... I peeled an orange... about an hour ago. Why?'" --Kevin James

I echo that.

And it's not like I sit on my butt all day. I got a treadmill I use regularly. I only couch-potato it a couple days a month and on Sundays. But other than that...I move around.

So obviously, it all points to one thing. Genetics. (Ha! You thought I was going to say food, right? Well, you're wrong. After all, if you get shot in the leg, you don't blame the gun, right? You blame the Zoloft that the person was taking that caused them to shoot you in the leg. There is no place in this world for personal responsibility. As we've been taught by society.)

Yes, genetics. We're big people. Ask my family. We're made of flesh and big bones. We would make a really cool and scary gang. The Apple-Dumpling Eating Gang! I'm pretty sure my family can beat up your family. Plus, you know, it makes it nice that I'm not an island of lard in a sea of a skinny.

You just can't fight genetics.

Being fat is not all bad.

When you're fat, in general, you don't have to worry about being abducted. I'm probably bigger than most kidnappers and they see me as way too much work. I appreciate that. I embrace that.

Also, being fat, you get free clothes. I get coupons all the time from Lane Bryant for free clothes. So there. Bet you don't get free stuff at your little Banana-rama-Republic-of-the-Waifs.

Another good thing about being fat...you got dibs on the thermostat. Your risk of heat-stoke outweighs the Skinnies' uncomfortable chill. (That's why cardigans were invented.)

Lastly, if we're ever on an uncharted island, with no hope of rescue....I'm going to live longer than you. Got my own built in food storage.

Come to think of it. I still would rather not be fat.

More on that another day.

I'm late for lunch.

safety tat

2010-05-28T20:00:00.001-06:00

I saw these on Studio 5 this morning.

I think they're kind of ingenious.

They're one of those things you wish you would have invented...but someone got there first.

funeral

2010-05-26T22:06:00.005-06:00

I went to a funeral today.

I don't like funerals. Even if you hardly know the person, they're so sad. And when you do know the person, even worse.

Today, I did know the person well. I've been her visiting teacher since I moved here almost 4 years ago. And she was one of THE sweetest people I've ever met.

Usually, you don't expect to be taught something at funerals. But today, I was taught a few things.

The first thing I was taught was to be proud of your accomplishments.

This woman's family talked about how proud she was of everything she did, no matter how small. It's a really, really good idea.

People can be so hard on themselves for all the stupid things they don't do right or don't do at all. (Hello, mother's guilt.)

You SHOULD be proud when you accomplish something. Anything. Give yourself some props! (And for some, getting a shower before noon is all you can expect.)

The second thing I learned was something my friend's husband said she used to say. She didn't like to talk about people badly. And she would say, "You don't know nothin' about it. So shut up."

Good advice.

For ALL.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could go through life and deal with all your problems and hardships while knowing people were backing you up and supporting you behind your back instead of having people gossip about you and belittle your problems when you're not around?

Yes. It would be. As I have learned.

It's amazing how rough a time you could be going through and there are still people--even people who supposedly love and care about you--who speak badly of you.

Shame on them.

And while it instantly made me think about those who have hurt me by talking about me and things they don't have a clue about...it also got me thinking about the people I might have crapped on without them knowing.

It's about guile.

A decade ago, a friend of mine told me that she thought I was a person without guile. But look down the road these ten years...and life...and trials...and stupid fools can turn a person sour.

I guess it takes constant reminding one-self that you are not as smart as you think you are. You don't know what you think you know. You've never walked in anyone else's shoes. Who are you to look down on anyone...especially loved ones?

So next time you get the urge to open your big mouth, just remember my friend's words...

YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT IT. SO SHUT UP!

I'm very grateful for knowing this woman and what I learned from her even after she passed away. I'll miss her.

She was one of the best ones.

planes, pools, and fake dough

2010-05-21T14:54:00.010-06:00

It's been a while.

I've been doing stuff.

Going places.

Seeing the sites.

Watching things.

Laundering clothes.

Walking on a treadmill.

And playing with my new Memory Mixer. (Which is way better than regular scrapbooking. I actually look forward to doing it, whereas, I'd rather give blood than do real-life scrapbooking.)

I have much to write about. But I'm not going to do it all at once...cuz that would be a long, annoying post and would take me 3 hours to write.

First, let me take you to Arizona. Which is where I went a few weeks ago.

Via plane. Wretched, wretched plane.

It was one of the only times I've ever flown. I flew 11 year ago with my family when they moved to Utah...and then I flew back to Phoenix 3 days later. Neither times bothered me. I thought it was a good time. I was naive, single, and childless. So, if the plane crashed and I died...no big loss. Right?

But this time around, all of the above is different. Terrorists had roamed the skies. I'm married. And I have a kid.

So, getting on an airplane now was a little frightening. There's something very unnatural about hurling through the air at 8 million miles an hour, 8 million feet above the ground. (Note the embellishment for dramatic affect.) You have absolutely no control over your fate. It's all in the hands of a pilot, who may or may not be intoxicated.

Boarding began and we got on the plane without incident. So far, so good. Piece of cake.

I chose a wing-side seat. Thought it would be...fun. (FYI, it wasn't.)

Seat-belts, check. Barf-bags, check. Air masks, check. Life jacket, check. Emergency exits, check.

Then the taxiing began.

And so did the panic and anxiety.

The explosion scene from Final Destination came into my head and I suddenly wished I hadn't decided to take a night-time flight. I thought, "I wonder what would happen if I stood up and screamed that the plane was going to explode...? Just how in trouble would I be?"

Then we lifted off. It felt like my brain was leaking down into my stomach.

I kept imaging parts of the wing flying off or bursting into flames. (Living in my head is not always pretty.)

I tried to concentrate on my book, (Rachel and Leah, by Orson Scott Card...good book...good series)...

...but then the plane would hit turbulence and I just knew we were this close to plummeting to the ground.

Seriously.

I thought about my house and my green walls and how I would miss them. And then I hoped that after my tragic death, Steve wouldn't paint them a different color and that he'd never remarry.

And then I tried focusing back on my book...

The flight attendant came by and asked if we wanted a drink.

"Yes, a nice Jose Cuervo, please. Oh wait, I don't drink..."

It was then I wished tequila wasn't frowned upon so I could be nice and numb.

"No, thanks," I said politely.

"And leave me the crap alone so I can focus on my panic attack, please!"

All the while we ascended and hit bumps and ascended some more and hit more bumps.

Every muscle I had was as tense as could be and my shoulder start to hurt.

Lily, of course, was oblivious to any impending doom that awaited us and she sat there reading books during the whole flight. Thank goodness.

The annoying flight attendant came by again and asked if we wanted peanuts or pretzels.

"And how am I supposed to eat peanuts or pretzels without a drink! And I didn't want a drink...so figure it out Sherlock!"

I'm not a very nice person when I'm flying.

"No, thanks," I said again politely.

The book wasn't keeping my attention, so then I pretended to read while I eavesdropped on the people behind us...an early-twenty-something girl and an early-twenty-something boy.

He was a freshly returned missionary. And she was single. They didn't know each other...but when you're single and Mormon, EVERYONE is your potential soul-mate.

It was after 10 minutes of their embarrassing getting-to-know-each-other-chit-chat that I decided I was very glad not to be an early-twenty-something single person again.

Then she dosed off and he got on his preppy laptop. And I was alone with my panic again.

Back to the book.

And then, the pilot came on. I still have no idea what he said. I heard something about descending and the weather in Phoenix.

"Ah, yes!! Almost over!"

Landing is a horrible experience.

It feels like when you're in a car, going 150 miles an hour and you have exactly 2.5 seconds to stop before you die...you know the little heart attack you get and you laugh nervously like, "Heh. Heh. That was really fun. We almost crashed! Let's do it again..."

That's what landing was like...minus the nervous giggle and thinking it was fun.

I finally relaxed when the plane came to a stop.

But then I kept thinking, "This thing could still explode."

Tensed up again.

We stepped into the airport from the little ramp and still kept thinking, "A plane could crash into this airport and IT would explode."

Then we walked down to the baggage and saw my friend, Casey, and forgot all about explosions.

The end and good riddance.

I spent the next week and a day in Mesa and Queen Creek with Casey.

It wasn't as arm-pitty as I remember. The weather was fair--though still pretty warm. I had a really good time.

We swam and recreated and watched chic shows.

Thank you to my dear hostess, Casey, and for all her generosity...

...and for her introduction to Nestle's mini cookie dough.

Yum.

happy birthday...

2010-04-29T14:40:00.004-06:00

...to me.

In a few days, I will have something wise to share with you about the last 31 years.

As for today, go eat something fatty in my honor.

Huzzah!

cioccolata

2010-04-22T14:45:00.000-06:00

Chocolate is pretty.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. (No, really. I will.)

Chocolate is PRETTY.

And I think God wants us to eat it.

Because He created it.

Him and the Mayans.

Why does He want us to eat it?

Cuz it makes us happy, (and sane). And the scriptures tell us that men are that they might have joy.

Chocolate = Joy

who goes there?

2010-04-20T09:19:00.005-06:00

Last night I was watching Friday's 20/20. It was about a little Florida girl, named Somer, who loved puppies and was very friendly to strangers. She was killed by a sicko pedophile last year.

Throughout the story, they talked about the different suspects and that in this little girl's community--within a 5 mile radius--there were 150 registered sex offenders. Ew. Sent shivers and whatnot.

I wondered about my own neighborhood. I live in a fairly small town so I wasn't expecting a huge number of registered offenders. (But really, how many is an okay number?)

Within 2 miles of my house, there are 12. Within one mile, 8. And within a quarter mile, 2.

We're talking one right over there. I can see the residence from my house. The other one lives down the street and around the corner. Very close.

I was immediately glad that I don't let Lily play outside by herself.

I was immediately a little worried that some of my neighbors do.

(I'm not an alarmist. But I am paranoid. So I don't really care how rehabilitated someone is. Whether it's a pessimistic view or not, I believe the old saying that past performance predicts future performance. Apparently, the government agrees or the Registry wouldn't exist.)

Steve and I looked at each of the sex offender's picture and rap sheet. Good to know. I also signed up for email alerts that let me know when a new offender moves in. Also good to know.

The mother of Somer said that (in not so many words) one of her missions was to make people aware of who they're living by and know where the sex offenders are.

So, in the name of being aware of who's living by you, here are a couple websites:

If you live in Utah, go here. Go to the bottom and agree to the terms/conditions, then click on SEARCH FOR OFFENDERS IN YOUR AREA at the top.

If you live somewhere else, go here to Family Watchdog.

I remember roaming free when I was a kid.

My mom didn't think twice.

It's too bad Mayberry's dead.

candyland queen

2010-04-15T14:57:00.001-06:00

Just really kinda diggin' her today.

Yes. I am.

office of first lady

2010-04-13T09:43:00.003-06:00

I recently (yesterday) read an article (if you wanna call it that) in Parade (not so much the snooty-liberal New York Times, but a media source just the same) that Michelle Obama was in the Office of the First Lady.

Really? That's an actual position in government?

Funny.

I don't remember casting a vote for that. Or for her.

The snippet went on to say she has a staff of some 18 or so people.

Okay. I can believe that. First ladies, in general, are always very put together and go lots of places and give many speeches. And apparently, they are incompetent and can't dress themselves, drive themselves, or write their own speeches.

But then, and here's the part that tickethed me offeth...we, as taxpayers, are paying one million eight hundred thousand dollars a year for her staff.

One million and eight thousand DOLLARS.

Do you know how many operations I could have for $1,800,000?

Do you know how many of me and my friends could go to and graduate from college, (and how many more if it's community college), with $1,800,000?

Do you know how many border patrol agents and their weapons I could buy with $1,800,000?

Do you know how many less-fortunate people the Church could help with $1,800,000?

Do you know how many streets I could pave (such as the super-fantastic dirt one sitting in front of my house) with $1,800,000?

Do you know how many GOOD school teachers could be lured to Roosevelt or some other less desirable small town with $1,800,000?

Do you know how many pink handcuffs Sheriff Joe could buy with $1,800,000?

Do you know how many Girl Scout cookies I could buy with $1,800,000?!

Look, it's not that I am infuriated about this just because Michelle (and I get to call her that because if I'm paying for her designer clothes, it means we're tight) is a democrat and married to the odious Barack. She probably thought he was cute back in the day and thought she should hitch her wagons to his. And who wouldn't...I mean...the way he never wears a tie...both sexy and alluring. (When did being the President of the United States become such a casual position?)

I was equally annoyed to learn that Laura Bush had an even bigger staff (and her clothes weren't near as fun as Michelle's)...although her staff, counting for inflation and the bad economy, cost roughly the same as the current First Lady's.

The point:

If the American people are going to be paying a pretty fortune for this "office", shouldn't we have a say in who the First Lady is?

Shouldn't she have to run right along with the President just like the Vice President?

And I know what you're saying, "She does campaign with him!"

No, she doesn't. She campaigns FOR him.

She should have to give us all her promises (which will eventually be ignored and forgotten) and participate in debates and tell us why she's worth an EXTRA $1,800,000.

If she doesn't want to run, then we should put her to work at Home--dusting, washing dishes, vacuuming. Surely that would be worth a nice dress now and then...a mani/pedi...a night on the town with Husband.

But she shouldn't automatically get an in at the White House just because she has nice triceps and looks good in Armani or who-ever-the-heck-designer-wants-to-give-her-free-clothes.

Her name should be right there on that ballot next to the rest of her running mates.

And if she's not the best woman for the job, someone Else's wife will take her place.

(Yes, Future President...if you can't pick a better wife, we, The People, will do it for you!)

"Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names."

what am i looking at?

2010-04-12T17:42:00.003-06:00

I have this game I like to play.

You look at someone's face and ask, "What am I looking at?"

Could be the nose, a freckle, a chin hair...it's a mystery. Hard to tell.

Steve hates it. He used to play along. But then he stopped.

It makes me giggle.

Try it on someone. It'll annoy 'em. And that's just a good time.

two dollars

2010-04-04T17:42:00.007-06:00

Endless hours of fun from an El cheapo Walmart Easter toy.

You will never be bored again.

Even alone...oodles of excitement.

Hope you had at least that much fun today.

Again...Happy Easter!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And before I forget...

Steve made a cheesecake.

We got it from the coupon inserts that come in the Sunday paper. Even came with a sour cream coupon. (...Which is in the topping. Think that's weird? So did I. But it was good! Even better with strawberries on top.)

Find it HERE.

cuckoo for coconut...and m&ms...and shortbread

2010-04-03T15:14:00.012-06:00

I wanted to get this up before the day is over so you can go buy the stuff for these cookies before Easter is over.

I likes me some shortbread cookies...And I like them a little undercooked.

HERE'S the direct link if you want it.

And let us all be glad that after tomorrow, I won't be forced to buy anymore holiday chocolate until Halloween.

meal planners

2010-04-02T17:25:00.001-06:00

I don't know why I like lists and calendars so much. But I do.

Especially when someone else makes them and I just have to print it off.

I'm about to plan our meals for the next few weeks. (Thank you Sam's for your super-fantastic cheap meat.) I only plan out dinners cuz breakfast and lunch don't require much planning. (Cereal...Pop Tarts...Sandwiches. Badda-bing. Badda boom.) And I actually found some menu planners that are just for dinners that I thought were worth mentioning...and a few others that plan all the meals.

This one:

And this one:

This one is gosh darn cute:

Menu four:

And another:

One that won't blow your socks off, (as if a menu planner really could), but it's good enough...no picture for this one.

If anyone is in the mood, email me a good recipe. One that your family has on a regular basis because a.) it's really good and cheap and/or b.) it's really good and easy to make.

Thanks.

marco?

2010-03-26T16:38:00.001-06:00

Steve wants me to post something. I don't know why, really. He knows what goes on here more than anyone out there.

I haven't been in the mood.

But this is a lonely place, isn't it?

I'll get on it soon.

In the meantime, this song is running in my head at least 53% of the time.

I know Steve will love it and it's just what he had in mind.

(What can I say. I'm 13.

It must be because when I was a tweenager, I never obsessed over any celebrities. I don't think there were really that many talented people in the world back then. Or attractive. The 80's and 90's did that to people. )

good cookies

2010-02-12T11:23:00.001-07:00

I'm always on the look out for good sugar cookie recipes.

I recently came upon one that claimed it was the "Best Sugar Cookie Recipe Ever." Big talk.

I have no idea where I saw it online. No idea at all. I looked too. Though, I would say that it was pretty typical of a sugar cookie. And I've tried a lot. Most of them taste pretty close to the same.

But that's not the best part of these cookies. It was the FROSTING. I accidentally bought Betty Crocker Whipped Strawberry Mist Frosting.

Normally, I don't like things that are Strawberry flavored cuz they taste really fake. Also, I'm not a huge fan of the whipped canned frosting.

But let me tell you...I could have eaten all 30 something cookies in one afternoon with this frosting. It's probably the best sugar cookie frosting you could possibly put on a cookie. Better than Lofthouse cookies. Oh, yeah. Much better. And then when you add M&M's. Yeah. No contest.

I didn't even need a glass of milk to keep me interested.

I also found a recipe for fortune cookies at Once Upon a Holiday that actually come out tasting like fortune cookies.

This recipe is one of those where practice makes perfect. So my first attempt was not perfect, but good enough.

I made them for visiting teaching purposes, so I changed the fortunes to these:

They were actually really easy to make. I would just suggest that you actually use parchment paper or a Silpat like the recipe says. Cuz the cookies even had a hard time coming off of my magical, mystical golden cookie sheets.

Happy baking...and eating!

through the years

2010-02-10T10:58:00.002-07:00

Valentine's Day.

Love it. Hate it. Ignore it.

Makes some people giddy, other people gag, and the rest just don't give a crap--these are those who really are in the same category as the gagers...they just don't want to admit it.

It all starts in childhood.

Remember elementary school? You got to make a big "mail box" to tape to your desk. You'd get real- live Valentine's Day cards...the best ones had candy taped to the back. And it was the one time of the year you could show kind/neutral feelings towards boys without the fear of getting cooties or mocked. Those were the days...the best days that Valentine's Day had to offer. And then it's over.

Fast forward a few years...to high school---my high school---they did something REALLY atrocious.

The student body wrote EVERYONE'S name on a big heart and slapped it on the side of the main building. (We're talking a student body of what...3 thousand plus?) The idea was that you were supposed to take down the heart of someone you liked...secretly. Or something like that.

Mean.

If you used your deducing skills, you would see that this meant if your heart was still up at the end of the day...NOBODY LIKES YOU and everyone got to see it. Luckily, a wise friend took my heart and a few other friends' hearts down early on in the day.

Smart, merciful friend.

And then came single-life. Remember those (said with disdain) days? (If you got married before you were twenty one...you don't get to reminisce with me here...) Those were horrible, LOVE-STINKS! YEAH-YEAH! days.

This was when Valentine's Day was dead to me.

Dead!

But I didn't really care about not being with anyone. I had better things to do. Like sit around with my friends/roommates and bitterly talk about the males and their countless, unredeemable qualities. Because they had many and they needed to be discussed.

Which brings us to the present.

I'm indifferent to this holiday.

Just ask Steve.

Do I wish it was a little gooey-er? Maybe when I want an excuse for Steve to buy me a new cookbook. But Steve and I aren't gooey people. So really, it would go against us as a couple.

Maybe knowing I have a built-in Valentine (stop the gagging) is enough.

But it's nice just to have another holiday to give me yet another excuse to make cookies, eat V-Day themed chocolate candy, and go out to eat...all in the name of Valentine's Day.

Though in reality, I'm gonna do those things anyway. It's just nice having a holiday to justify the sugar fests.

So, Happy Valentine's Day.

And do your pigging out now, cuz the next holiday doesn't come til March 17th.

valentine bug

2010-02-08T13:55:00.001-07:00

Here's a girly Valentine from Skip To My Lou.

rockin' valentine

2010-02-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

These are awesome. Go here for details.

tote

2010-02-04T15:29:00.003-07:00

A few months back, I came across this reversible tote bag from Skip To My Lou that looked easy enough to make.

I made it this afternoon.

Only took about 45 minutes...including waiting for the iron to heat up.

I tweaked it a little cuz I didn't have enough fabric for the strap--so I just used ribbon. And I made a sling strap instead of two smaller shoulder straps. I also used no-sew iron-on tape on step 9 instead of top-stitching, because I hate stitching. And I'm no good at it. And this was easier.

I'll be using this one for grocery lists, coupons, etc.. It's the perfect size for it.

Speaking of groceries. Here's some handy dandy printable shopping lists and weekly menu planners from Organized Home.

Not one of the great feats of my life, but it filled a need and it was a piece of cake.

(Mmmmm, cake.)

be mine

2010-02-03T14:25:00.001-07:00

Lily started to write words by sounding them out in her head. It's a new thing. (And probably something that only a kid's mother would actually find adorable and blog-worthy. Nevertheless...)

She just handed me a valentine she made.

It says:

She tried to explain it to me... I know there's something about mommy and Lily and love and beautiful.

She confused herself when she tried to read it back to me.

So she walked away and dismissed me.

I have no idea what it actually says.

But I still love it.

new again

2010-01-12T13:27:00.010-07:00

I'm back to blog. But nothing earth-shattering right now. Just saying Happy New Year. Happy new decade. And good luck on the resolutions.

Question to start things off...
Can anyone tell me in one comment what has happened on Lost since it started? I bet you can't.

Oh...only 31 days till the Winter Olympics start.

Can you even stand it?!

merry christmas!

2009-12-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

See you all next year!

homemade cookie ornaments

2009-12-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to make some sugar cookie looking ornaments for the past few years. Lily's old enough now that I thought I should try.

I found a baking soda play dough recipe that I really like. It didn't smell good cooking and cooling, but I liked the end result.

Lily rolled out the dough, cut it, and put it on the pan all by herself.

And I didn't even care that she was making a mess.

They took about 3 days to dry and 4 days to paint, (we came back to work on them every other day).

license to carry an ugly stick

2009-12-09T15:41:00.005-07:00

I just got my driver's license renewed.

I was a little late...only 8 months.

The bank teller had to remind me.

I was still thinking I had till 2039--AZ's way of doing things.

But here, they make you do it every 5 years.

And I have a few tips for you...

One: Whether you regularly wear make-up or not, wear it for this special occasion. Trust me. It wasn't pretty. My eyes blended into my face which blended into my hair. It was a sea of beige, blonde, and freckles. I just figured, I don't wear make-up, so it would really be a lie. Next time, I will commit such a lie for Beauty's sake.

Two: Smile. Say cheese. Show those pearly whites. Let them shine! True, the guy taking the picture probably won't tell you to smile cuz he doesn't care and you may feel stupid...but you're never fully dressed without a smile.

Three: Posture! Posture! Posture! Sit up straight. Don't slouch. Make your mamma proud. Otherwise, you will, in fact, end up looking like a linebacker.

I thought about taking a picture of my license so you could see the horribleness that is my face. But nobody should have that image burned into their brains.

Let me just say two words: Mug shot.

holiday awesomeness

2009-12-04T20:34:00.003-07:00

HoliDew magic.

No doubt the work of 20-something-year-old males.

Some people go the extra mile.

Nothing says "Christmas" like a tank.

From the makers of Beavis and Butthead...

Some followed the star on the back of a camel. Others...

People will see flamingoes pulling Santa's sleigh on your lawn and KNOW you're classy.

Venison anyone? It's a nice 'light" meat.

All pictures courtesy of uglychristmaslights.com.

me want cookie

2009-12-03T18:47:00.002-07:00

I just came across these Chocolate Dipped Soft Peanut Butter Cookies. they look so stinkin' good. Thought I'd share them.

And if you haven't signed up for the Food Network's 12 Days of Cookies newsletter. You should. They have some really good lookin' cookies this time of year.

Like these Chocolate Peppemint Cookies from last year's 12 Days of Cookies.

Enjoy.

10 minute christmas cheer

2009-11-30T20:14:00.005-07:00

Since I'm being a Scroogette when it comes to Christmas decor this year, I decided that anything I put up, will be made by Lily and me. Then it'll all go up gradually and I will find more sentiment in the decorations...Just not into the generic, purposelessful decor this year.

We added some holiday cheer to our family silhouettes.

I think they're funny.

Steve thinks I'm "a geek...with a lotta nerd mixed in." (He's so eloquent.)

Which makes them even more funny to me.

They were a cinch. Especially for four-year-old hands.

(See, this is the great part about having green walls. All I have to do is add some red construction paper around the room and I'm festive!)

hot chocolate on a stick

2009-11-29T18:50:00.004-07:00

I am so gonna make these.

Recipe and photos here.

If anyone else makes these before I do, tell me if they are as delicious as they look.

Hey, Arizona people...this will actually give you a reason to enjoy hot chocolate!

all that jazz

2009-11-28T13:49:00.005-07:00

I'm really in the mood for Christmas today.

I put up some decorations...only about half of my normal ones, cuz I'm just not feeling chotchky-ish right now.

It's festive enough.

I also broke out the Christmas music...

The Carpenters' Christmas Portrait--will always be THE best Christmas album on the planet. I will listen to this any time. It's like White Christmas. Doesn't ever get old.

George Strait's Merry Christmas Strait to You--I don't need to say much. He's just him. And that's enough.

Mariah Carey's Merry Christmas--I can't say I'm a fan of hers, but for some reason I really love that old Christmas tape. I can even tolerate her weird runs and the googly voice thing she does that everyone does now that drives me up the wall.

Brad Paisley Christmas--This is one of our favorites to listen to while we're traveling. We probably listen to it 3 or 4 times on a round trip to the city. There's this one song that everyong should know. It's called Born on Christmas Day. Go find it on a website and listen.

NYSYNC's Home for Chistmas--I just love 'em. I'm glad they never made a second Christmas one though. It would have sullied the gloriousness of this album. It takes me back to my early days in Utah...roommates, college, little sisters, living on my own for the first time in AZ. This one brings a lot of nostalgia for me...so take care before you mock.

Josh Groban's Noel--I don't really need to say much about him either. He's just him. I think his version of O Holy Night is my favorite.

Of course, I can't leave out some soundtracks.

P.S. I was just perusing and found this deal.

10 different magazines you can get subscriptions to for only $5.00. No catch...it's through Amazon. Not some dumb magazine company that will hound you for years to come. They actually have some good ones: Real Simple, Southern Living, and Food & Wine are well worth it. Good gift idea. But the deal only lasts until December 1st.

thanks

2009-11-24T15:51:00.003-07:00

ow we're nearing the end of the Thanksgiving season.

I know...not for two more days. But this week is busy. So I'm finishing this up now.

Here are my final thanks.

1. The Gospel. Always the Gospel. For me, there's no point without it.

2. My family. All of them. Especially Steve and Lily. But definitely all of them. It's big. It's all over the place. But it's a pretty good one. Problems and all. I'm grateful for the dysfunction that has been. I feel like if a person hasn't ever had first-hand family dysfunction, there's a reality they'll never know. I feel like it has a way of giving you a heart...giving you compassion. I'm grateful that no matter what I've done, my parents have never made me feel inadequate. I'm grateful that I've never felt that if I screwed up, I would be shunned by them. I hope that as Lily is growing up, I never make her feel like she can't screw up too.

3. Prayers. Specifically, answered prayers. Each answered prayer is a testimony to me that Heavenly Father cares. Even insignificant things I want/need/want to know. There's always an answer. Sometimes it takes a very long time to get the answers. But they always come. And there's always a lesson in the waiting.

4. Friends. Friends here...friends not here.

5. My home. It's not big, nor fancy. My yard is still dirt. But it fits us. And I feel peace here. I've never lived anywhere this long. "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

6. My able body. There may be an excess of it, but it can do whatever I want it to. I'm grateful for that energy and health that I enjoy. I'm grateful for my fingers and toes and tastebuds. Everything. What our bodies can do is miraculous.

7. Disney Channel, Nick Jr., PBS. Seriously. Oh, the sanity that has been saved because these channels exist.

8. Skills. Everything I've learned this year. It's been awesome. I've learned more practical life skills this year than all 15+ years of schooling. Kudos to the blogosphere.

9. Fire detectors. I mean, really. Have you thanked your fire detector today?

10. Music. I'm grateful I can play the piano. I'm grateful my mom made me. I'm grateful that in these fingers, I can make a song come out.

11. Pillows. I love pillows. They make every stationary moment glorious.

12. Mornings. Okay, so I hate mornings...but I'm grateful that there's always a morning. I always get to wake up again. I always get to try again. I always get a break from the crappy-yesterday and get to start over. I always get another chance to not mess up. I always get another chance to do whatever I want. I always get another chance to enjoy all of the above.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2009-11-21T18:04:00.003-07:00

ily and I spent the morning at the Enchanted Forest in town.

It was a great morning. Perfect mommy-daughter outing.

I love times like those. She was cooperative, even-tempered, and well-mannered.

First, we saw the trees...the "forest." They had THE most awesome Dr. Suess tree. Friggin' upside-down.

The picture does not do it justice. Kudos to whoever it was who made it.

My favorite, other than the Dr. Suess tree, was this one.

It was perfectly Christmas.

I'm very grateful for this woman who read story after Christmas story for the kids. She is patient. Oh, so patient. No matter how much noise there was, she just kept on reading. And she seemed to genuinely enjoy it. I wish I could be more like that.

Lily was in heaven. She loves reading...sat there for an entire hour.

Until...

Santa came!

Lily was all jazzed up to see him, but ultimately preferred to sit on Mrs. Claus' lap.

Good job, Roosevelt. Ya done good.

toasty

2009-11-20T22:23:00.001-07:00

y warm home and cozy winter pajamas. Always grateful to be blessed with these.

love to see

2009-11-19T10:58:00.004-07:00

ot a day goes by that I'm not thankful to have been born into the church. I often wonder why I'm that lucky.

I would shrivel up and die without knowing the things I know and being able to do the things I get to do.

I'm glad I do not have a void where something should be.

I'm glad to know exactly what the point of existing is all about.

I'm glad to know what's expected of me and that I have unlimited access to the ultimate instruction book.

I'm glad to know there's an instant connection at any given moment to that High Power whenever I need strength that I don't have.

I'm VERY glad to know that Someone knows exactly how I feel.

I'm glad to know it will all be worth it.

I'm glad to have a built in support system no matter where I go.

I'm glad I get to be part of the most awesome church on the face of the planet.

And I'm glad to have somewhere to go to get completely away from the stank that is in this world.

Especially today.

I'm grateful for what goes on in them.

I'm grateful for the serene feeling that comes from just being on the grounds.

I'm grateful for their beauty.

I'm grateful for their welcoming way.

And I'm grateful that there is something sacred on this earth, that will always remain sacred.

stockpile

2009-11-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

oliday sales are in full swing.

All the good stuff is finally going cheap for the next month and a half.

I'm on a little bit of a cheap-skate high cuz I just went shopping and got some awesome deals.

I'm thankful for the holidays at the grocery store because we get to eat large and luxurious on a skimpy and bland budget!

"oh, say can you see, my eyes if you can..."

2009-11-17T23:37:00.004-07:00

etting a haircut makes me happy. It's renewing. I don't know why, really.

Hasn't it always been that way?

I think doing stuff to our--women--hair is our way of having a little control in a world gone awry.

"Okay, that jerk broke up with me?! So what?! Choppin' off my hair!"

"Lost my job...no biggie. Goin' brunette!"

"Gained 30 pounds? Awesome. Gonna go eat half a cheesecake...then I'll getta weave!"

It's a way of being able to change something when you can't change anything.

Ulcers may be forming, but gosh-darn-it, your hair's going to look super-fantastic!

So, with that, I say, I'm grateful for having a magical hair-cutting woman that makes my hair look just how I like it...

...Like the mane of a mustang.

Raw-hiiiyyde! Ftshhh!

stinks

2009-11-16T19:32:00.004-07:00

aving a hard time being grateful right now.

Bit of a pity party going on.

Take what you can get...

...Thank heaven for indoor plumbing...?

And a big fat phtphtphtphtpht to the universe.

:P~~~~~~~

rub-a-dub-dub-thanks-for-the-grub!

2009-11-15T21:19:00.002-07:00

inner at other people's houses.

That's what I'm diggin' today.

Especially being a Sunday.

Food always tastes better when someone else makes it.

white stuff

2009-11-14T16:27:00.001-07:00

own it came.

Not very hard. Not very much. It didn't even stick...though it was coming down for two hours.

But still. Down it came. And I loved it.

The holiday season can't really begin until it snows. It just doesn't feel right. Which is strange, considering I spent the first twenty years of my life in a place where we were lucky to get below 65 degrees by Christmas.

Maybe that's why. I have a subconscious need to make up for twenty years of white-less Christmases.

(Speaking of which, snow always puts me in the mood for White Christmas. So, in it went into the VCR. I can recite the whole movie. I can. Try me.)

I'm blessed to live in a cold, snowy place.

two-fer

2009-11-13T22:57:00.004-07:00

got in late last night. (Twelve thirty. What will the neighbors think?! Oh wait, my neighbor was there, too.) So, I didn't get a chance to be grateful for something yesterday.

But being grateful daily is like taking birth control pills. If you miss one day, you can just make it up the next day. And so I shall.

Actually, I'm grateful for what I was doing. Girls' night. No children, no men, no interruptions, no thinking, no calorie-counting (as if there ever really is). It was rejuvenating.

Yes, even in Roosevelt, Utah--population still under 10,000--it's possible to get out of the house and just be a girl. Cuz girls just wanna have fun and be dancing queens.

(This is totally how it was, too. Only, there were a few more of us. And we weren't dancing. And there was no disco ball. And we were in our pajamas. But the idea is the same. Inside, our souls were gettin' down with our bad childless/husband-less selves...Only very mellowly.)

I need more of those.

or today's bit-o-thankfulness, the award goes to TEXTING. Yes, good old-fashioned text messaging.

For someone like me, who hates to talk on the phone, texting is the single best form of communication ever. I get to say or ask what I need, and then I'm done. Ahh, I do love it.

Besides, I'm much more interesting in print than I am in real time.

Some will say, "It's so impersonal."

I say, "And...?"

I must give an honorable mention to email. My second favorite way of communicating.

Just think, in ten years, none of us will ever have to actually say a word to each other.

god armeth the patriot

2009-11-11T15:50:00.001-07:00

eteran's Day brings us today's post. What to be thankful for was a no brainer.

This morning, I heard someone say that Veteran's Day isn't necessarily about remembering, (like Memorial Day)...but specifically about giving thanks to all the vets. I like that.

zzzzz

2009-11-10T19:25:00.003-07:00

hortly and sweetly...

Today has lasted way too long. I need it to stop.

I'm thankful that this very long day will come to an end in exactly 4 and a halfish hours and that soon I get to go to sleep.

I love whoever invented sleep.

guts

2009-11-09T10:52:00.008-07:00

f there is anything in this world that is the most awesome, it's the Gospel. I wouldn't leave home without it.

I was just reading the Wentworth Letter. A letter Joseph Smith wrote to a newspaper editor detailing the church's history, progression, beliefs, etc..

Though I already know the history of the church and all the crap they put up with, I'm still amazed at the chutzpah the early saints and Joseph Smith had.

This may not be new to you, but it's worth reading over and over.

He writes:

...and organized mob assembled and burned our houses, tarred and feathered and whipped many of our brethren, and finally, contrary to the law, justice and humanity, drove them from their habitations; who, houseless and homeless, had to wander on the bleak prairie. This took place in the month of November, and they had no other covering but the canopy of heaven, in this inclement season of the year; this proceeding was winked at by the government, and although we had warranty deeds for our land, and violated no law, we could obtain no redress.

...in 1838 we were again attacked by mobs, an exterminating order was issued by Governor Boggs, and under the sanction of law, an organized banditti ranged through the country, robbed us of our cattle, sheep, hogs, etc., many of our people were murdered in cold blood, the chastity of our women was violated, and we were forced to sign away our property at the point of the sword; and after enduring every indignity that could be heaped upon us by an inhuman, ungodly band of marauders, from twelve to fifteen thousand souls, men, women, and children, were driven from their own firesides, and from lands to which they had warranty deeds, houseless, friendless, and homeless (in the depths of winter) to wander as exiles on the earth, or to seek an asylum in a more genial clime, and among a less barbarous people. Many sickened and died in consequence of the cold and hardships they had to endure...It would take more time than is allotted me here to describe the injustice, the wrongs, the murders, the bloodshed, the theft, misery and woe that have been caused by the barbarous inhuman, and lawless proceedings of the state of Missouri.

Ticks you off, right? But that's not my point. My point is what Brother Joseph writes at the end of the letter:

Persecution has not stopped the progress of truth, but has only added fuel to the flame, it has spread with increasing rapidity. Proud of the cause which they have espoused, and conscious of our innocence, and of the truth of their system, amidst calumny and reproach...

Here's my favorite part, (all you RMs, feel free to join in):

...the Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.

Makes me wanna stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance.

No matter what was done to the saints, they were still like, "UH! Take that! You just wasted all your time tarring, feathering, stealing and murdering. Cuz the church is still gonna be around and strong long after you're all dead!" (I took some literary liberties there.)

Sometimes, I still can't believe that this kind of persecution was done in America. Even more that it was because of religion. RELIGION! All that is good and right with the world. The very reason people wanted a new country to begin with! And yet.

The church is true. Why else would Satan have worked so hard to wipe it out. Ahh, fool that he is.

Everyday, I'm grateful for those early saints that stuck it out and kept going. It's because of them, that I get to be a member of something that IS the most awesome.

not-cho mama's baking pan

2009-11-08T20:20:00.013-07:00

e went to Sam's Club a few months ago and found THE single greatest kitchen treasure known to woman since the spatula was created.

It was a set of bakeware. Two large aluminum baking sheets, one half sheet, a cake pan, and a plastic lid for the half sheet/cake pan.

Sturdy, lovely, and coated. With what? I'm not sure...something champagne colored. I threw the box away, so there's no way to tell. But whatever it is, is freakin' awesome.

We've cooked all sorts of food in this stuff and NOTHING sticks to it. Not even baked-on cheese! It's a miracle. (And nobody better rain on my parade.)

I almost didn't tell you about them because I want to get another set next time we're at Sam's. And I'm stingy that way. But they're so radical, (as the kids used to say), that I don't want to keep this gem to myself. You will never have to buy parchment paper again.

I'm so glad I don't ever have to scrub over a hot sink again!

As the Girl Scouts say, "Make new friends and keep the old..."

For Lisa:

Hershey's Doubly Chocolate Cookies
2 cups flour
2/3 cup Cocoa
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2 cups semi-sweet (always) chocolate chips--or you can do what I did and use 1 cup choco chips and 1 cup Andes baking pieces

Oven to 350.
In med. bowl, mix dry ingredients with a whisk (or sift them if you're that fancy).
Cream butter/sugar/eggs/vanilla in another bowl.
Gradually add dry to wet. Don't over mix.
Add chocolate gently.
Plop by rounded teaspoons onto cookie sheet.
Bake for more than 11 minutes. The book says 8-10, but at my elevation (around 5 thousand feet) it took closer to like 15-16 minutes.
Cool slightly on cookie sheet before removing to wire rack.

These cookies will spread in the oven, so don't put them too close together and don't make them too big. Sticking the dough in the fridge for a half hour might help.

Eat hardy.

one down

2009-11-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

ntil today, I always wondered what Key Lime Pie tastes like. I always assumed I liked it. Why wouldn't I? Limes...good. Graham cracker crust...good. Pudding mix...goo-oo-ood.

Well, I made it. Tried it. Don't like it. It was pretty. But don't like it.

Guess I don't have to wonder about that anymore.

For today, my gratitude goes to:

Thanks for killing strange, little children cooties.

oragel, baby

2009-11-06T22:15:00.006-07:00

few days ago I bit the inside of my lip.

I mean BIT.

I mean, pain.

I mean, owy.

I mean, you can see my teeth imprints on my inner lip.

Little teeth imprint holes. It's all very disgusting.

It's because when I was 21, I got braces. The orthodontist discovered that I still had one of my baby teeth. So during the course of the whole braces-experience they went up into my gums and slowly wired the adult tooth down into its proper place. My canine tooth. You know, the tooth vampires use to suck the life out of their dinner...the tooth that got its namesake from dogs.

This means that my adult tooth didn't have 15 years of wearing down. So it's still fairly sharp. And it often rips through my lip. Quite offensive.

It's amazing how something wrong with your mouth can make you wanna die or rip your arm off.

Tonight, I turned to glorious Baby Oragel. It doesn't last long, but the time it did last made me feel a little bit like skipping. It's so tasty, too...taste just like candy.

Then it made me think of my baby because it's the same tube we got when she was teething so many years ago. (That's not gross. It doesn't expire until March of 2011.)

Makes a person wanna look at baby pictures with a box of Kleenex and cry. (At least THIS person.)

Today I'm thankful for two things:

Baby Oragel

that I had a baby.

when glad is stupid

2009-11-05T11:26:00.006-07:00

here's always a reason to get out of bed. If nothing else, I always have that.

And's that's good enough, sometimes.

sing in grateful chorus

2009-11-04T09:33:00.015-07:00

esterday, I voted.

They gave me a snazzy little red sticker. Which I took to Subway and got a 6" sub for only .99 with the purchase of a drink when you wear your "I VOTED" sticker in. It was good. Steve and I called the whole experience a date. Eh. Take what you can get.

It wasn't one of those monumental races, (at least to me). Nothing particularly interesting was up for grabs, (at least to me). Though I am glad my taxes won't go up.

But still. There is a satisfaction in doing your civic duty, no matter how inconsequential it seems.

I think everyone should vote. True, it's your right to choose not to, (God bless America). But if you don't, then your right to complain about how wrong things are goes out the window.

It's sad when people, particularly women, don't vote. There were women that fought some pretty horrible fights in order to have that right.

They'd be bummed if they knew how many women took it for granted and didn't do it.

I found this letter. It was written by Mary C. Murray. She was involved in the Votes for Women movement. It's a little hard to read, but you can get the idea.

The most interesting thing she writes is the last line of the letter. "She [woman] needs the vote more than all else to guard the home."

They felt that strongly about it.

I'm grateful for what they did and that all of the tough work was done for me.

squeaky

2009-11-03T14:10:00.003-07:00

ome of my greatest joys are in all things that are clean. I love shine. I love the smell of sterilization. I love freshness. These things bring me a high. It soothes me, (soothes me). If nothing else, giving things a good cleaning is a gosh-darn-great workout.

I feel fine about being a neat freak. I feel okay with my nerves not settling until I clean. I'm not high-strung. I'm just hygienic. My brain is wired that way.

It's undiagnosed, but I have my theories:

I'm a middle child. And let's just blame everything weird about me on that.

My mother. She was right. You can't feel peace in a messy house. It's just a fact. Messes = stresses. And I have enough of those.

If I have no control over anything else in my life, I always know that at least I have control over how clean or messy my house is. It gets my mind off things I can't do anything about. Some people get drunk, I fight grime.

How thankful I am, today, to love cleanliness.

wear it out

2009-11-02T14:18:00.011-07:00

have really been diggin' this whole wardrobe refashion phenom that's sweeping the globe. (Maybe that's a little presumptuous, to assume it's sweeping the globe, but it sure has my brain in a tizzy.)

No longer do you have to throw old clothes away. You can just turn it into something completely different...that's even more awesome. People across the country are turning really bland pieces of clothing into stuff with ruffles, pleats, flowers, and frills! It's pretty fun. People are seeing really expensive looks from snooty clothing stores and copying them from old rags. I'm absolutely mesmerized by it

This is just one of the many sites out there right now. You will be amazed what you can do with a little unwanted, unused, or old fabric.

So, today, this is what I'm grateful for. But more than that, I'm grateful for all of the super blogs that exist. I've learned more practical skills and life insight from the blogs I've visited this year than I did all 18 or so years of schooling. Let me tell you, I could spend 24 hours every other day just looking at the creative blogs out there. And I don't think it has been even a teeny bit waste of time.

My first attempt at frugal refashion involved this skirt. I've had this stupid skirt for a few years but have hardly ever worn it cuz it has a really slick lining and it rides up as I'm sitting in church. Classy.

So, (or should I say "sew" Ha!), I made it into a cute shirt for Lily...with some final touches of a couple cute black buttons and ruffles down the front.

Sassy-little-uptown girl!

acknowledgment

2009-11-01T21:50:00.005-07:00

oday, it is November. What good timing. We had a really good talk in Relief Society about counting our blessings this morning. It was the perfect lesson to usher in this month of giving thanks.

Gratitude is such a basic concept. It is "a feeling of appreciation and thankfulness for blessings or benefits we have received. As we cultivate a grateful attitude, we are more likely to be happy and spiritually strong. We should regularly express our gratitude to God for the blessings He gives us and to others for the kind acts they do for us."

It's hard for me to keep it in the forefront of my mind, especially when I'm having weekly pity parties. I know I'm not the only one.
In an Relief Society lesson last week, a sister said that she had a really crappy birthday. Home with sick kids. Husband at work all day. No real celebration. If you ask me, she had plenty of reasons to feel sorry for herself. And, by her own admittance, she did. Then someone said to her something to the affect of, "You have the greatest job in the world. You get to be a stay-at-home mom and take care of those boys when they're sick."

Do you smell a silver-lining moment?

I did.

The Glad Game isn't all hype.

Like, when your kid spills milk all over the freakin' floor for the 4th time that day, take a deep breath and be grateful that you can afford milk. Or that you have a floor. Or that you even have a kid! Some people would kill for that slopped on floor. (Believe me, I'm laser-beaming this into my brain as I type. I have much to work on.)

I once heard that the best way to recognize your blessings is to write them down so you could visually see how good you've got it. We did just that in R.S. and I suggest you give it a try.

Our teacher ended her talk with the awesome 4th verse to Count Your Many Blessings:

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Today, my visual reminder is this, or rather, her:

My baby sister. She's staying with us until Thanksgiving and I am SO GLAD.

2009-10-30T13:36:00.008-06:00

Sure
is
dusty
in
here.

dish diarrhea

2009-10-17T20:04:00.009-06:00

We used to have this thing in my house growing up.

It was called dish diarrhea.

Was your family inflicted by it, too?

If you aren't familiar with it, let me fill you in on this phenom: Dish diarrhea occurs when members of the family are simultaneously hit with a case of diarrhea as soon as it's time to do the dishes. They can't come help with the dishes because they're stuck in the bathroom..."sick." My younger siblings were the most stricken by this horrible fate. To this day, I'm not sure what they actually did during the many hours spent in the bathroom. Must have been fun.

Over the years, dish diarrhea's definition has broadened--Any urgent and sudden excuse to get out of any hard work.

Tonight, I was reminded of dish diarrhea and the many forms it can take.

Steve.

Steve always changed diapers when Lily was a baby.

It was never in question.

He did it cuz he had to.

He's a man and men don't gag at the site of baby poo. (Not real men, anyway.)

Potty training...

No problem.

With his help, we took Lily to victory over diapers.

But now, the man is sick of helping Lily take care of business in the bathroom.

So tonight as Lily headed to the bathroom, Steve disappeared.

Where?

To fix my treadmill.

He would rather get into electronics and heavy machinery than take another trip to the little girls room.

AKA Dish Diarrhea.

It has evolved.

thug story

2009-10-12T13:10:00.001-06:00

If I didn't already love Taylor Swift,

I totally would now...

so what

2009-10-10T15:51:00.008-06:00

Wow.

I haven't posted in 4 weeks.

Narley.

I feel kind of smug.

There's something satisfying about not blogging.

Especially when there has been plenty to blog about.

For example:

THE FALL LINE UP. Is there anyone else other than me watching FlashForward? What if we all blacked out at the exact same moment in time? Maybe I just feel special cuz April 29 is my b-day...the day we all dreamt about. Ooooo...the suspense.

Oh, and I really am ever so happy Donny Osmond is on Dancing With the Stars. Speaking of which, how come if I like Donny, I'm a dirty old lady...but if I like Zac Efron, I'm also a dirty old lady?

You know what really makes me sad? One of our free preview channels for September was Bravo. I got all into Top Chef--which I love--and then the free preview ended. Anyone know where I can watch back-episodes? Anyone know who's winning? At least I have The Next Iron Chef to take it's place...kind of a poor man's Top Chef, but it'll do.

MY KID TURNING FOUR. Four. FOUR! She's funny. She makes me laugh in the middle of disciplining. I hate it! And I love it. I would probably have had a stroke by now if she didn't know how to diffuse me. And she's smart. The smartest kid in the whole wide world. She's practically a brain surgeon. And she's the prettiest. And the most well-behaved. (Ha...even I didn't believe that one.) And the most observant. She's just the most awesome kid in the Universe.

SINCE THIS IS FRESH IN MY MIND: OBAMA WINNING THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. Come on...he totally deserved it. He's just so wonderful. He's done so much for our country already. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about how much I adore him. Oh, and I have ocean front property in Air-uh-ZONE-uh and a dragon named Pete.

ONSET OF WINTER...OR, UH, FALL. The colder it gets, the better I like it. Then I have a genuine excuse of not going outside for any reason. (I'm not big on the sunshine, if you hadn't already gotten that. I love indirect light and shade, but the rays of sunlight make me grouchy.) Now I don't have to garden anymore. Thank goodness. It's a lot of work. Winter really is a lazy season. But I think it's one we all need. Just do as Dr. Oz says and get your Vit. D..

IDAHO. I went there for a week to visit my parents in their new place. Who knew Idaho was so awesome?! Everyone I've ever known to move there falls into a deep, black hole...almost never to be heard from again! I was always sad about that. But now I know why. I love it there. I wouldn't mind living there at all. If I did, I probably wouldn't come visit me in Utah either. (Sorry to my ID friends who I didn't get to see! It was a parent filled week. There will be a definite next time though.)

But like I said, it's been nice not blogging.

You should all try it if you haven't.

I hope everyone's doing well and that all you pregnant people are feeling spry and healthy.

Have a good Sunday...thank goodness there's church tomorrow. I'm runnin' low.

rags into aprons

2009-09-12T15:39:00.007-06:00

Now, I'm going to show you how to make an apron out of a towel. (As if you couldn't figure it out yourself.)

This project was inspired by an apron my Grandma gave me that she and my aunt made years ago. (I have that right, right Marie?) They cut a regular kitchen towel down the middle and added a band. Smart.

It's really a brilliant idea. When I'm in the kitchen, I use towels to wipe my hands on, not my apron. (Go figure.) This just takes out the middle-man.

Really, towels are the best thing to make aprons out of cuz they're already hemmed and the perfect size.

It's really cheap too. I'm thinking around $3 for the whole apron.

I bought some pink towels at Wal-mart that came in a bundle--2 wash clothes, 2 hand towels, and two full towels. Total cost for all, $5.

Now, before I begin, let me tell you, I'm about as much of a sewing amateur as anyone. I sew on a little, blue mini Kenmore machine. And I don't know how to do much, but I do alright. (I'd do more alright with a bigger, more functional machine, but I haven't earned that just yet.)

I right notes on my machine because I hate having to keep referencing the owner's manual. It's very useful.

Half the time, I really don't know what I'm going. Who cares though.

So. (Or should I say "Sew"? Ba-da-dum! I'm here all week, folks.)

To start...

You can use either a hand towel or half a regular sized towel for the apron.--trimmed to desired length. I used half of the towel cuz I'm wider this way <--------->

But if you're thinner, the hand towel would work really well. A bit slimmer and I would have used it.

If you buy the $5 bundle that I got, you could really get 6 aprons out of it. Not bad, right?

Ready? Here comes the most confusing apron towel tutorial I've ever done...

First, do your pinning. Pin the ribbon of your choice on that little decorative strip on the bottom of the towel.

(Sorry about the day-glo pink. They aren't this bright in person.)

Then run the needle over it, twice, like a railroad track.

If you used the big towel, you'll have a rough edge at the top where you cut it in half.

That's where you will pin your band--but on the opposite side that you stitched your decorative ribbon on.

(Are you confused yet? Let Common Sense be your guide if you're lagging behind.)

In this case, I didn't let anything go to waste. I used the "ribbon" that was tied around the bundle. And it's perfect for the waist band.

After you've stitched that on, fold it over once and stitch it twice like you did the decorative ribbon on the front.

Little tip, roll up your fabric as you're feeding it into the machine.

(See how I folded it over?)

Okay, so now you should have the main part of the apron done.

Now we're going to do the pocket! Always my favorite part.

Take a wash cloth (again, not wasting anything from my bundle) and make two lines of basting stitches along where you will be putting your ribbon.

See those two rows? After cinching this, I'll be putting ribbon over the top.

Have you ever cinched before? It's so easy, but you wouldn't think it. At least I didn't before I learned.

Take the two strings from one side and start pulling and sliding the towel.

See it gathering?

After you've gotten it as gathered as you want it, sew your ribbon over the top and add a bow or something cute. Buttons are always a favorite.

Optional: I put one side of a piece of Velcro in the pocket and attached the other side of the velcro to some of the scrap piece of towel, so I could have another thing to wipe my hands on while I'm cooking.

Then pin the pocket to the front of the apron, wherever you want it and stitch it on.

Here's my first pocket.

Here's the pocket on my second apron. (One towel, two aprons.)

In the end, I decided to just make a bow out of the black and white polka dot ribbon to put on the pocket. I liked it better...

...and added an alligator clip to the flower to make it a hair accessory.

Finished!

The first one took me about an hour and a half to 2 hours cuz I had to figure out the thread tension and what needle worked, etc.. (FYI, a 16 needle worked the best.)

This apron would be the most awesome in the winter since it has a little bulk to it...nice and cozy. Yes, an apron can be nice and cozy.

Little tip: the combination of terry cloth and a seam ripper is deadly. I spent many minutes having to pull out screw-ups and it about did me in. (Also why the first towel took me so long.) Go slow and practice on some scrap towel before hand!