pointy-eared sneaks

I feel violated by the Keebler Elves.

I love these cookies.  They're delicious.  And they have the perfect amount of sogginess when you dip them in milk.

When I eat them, I usually have four...or five or seven at a time.  What's the harm?  They're just little cookies with "m&m's."

Last week, Steve went and read the nutritional facts to me...

...And I was horrified.

First of all, one cookie--ONE--is a serving size.

One of anything should never be a serving size.  And if it is, they should put it in BIG BOLD LETTERS next to the brand name!  Or like a king size Snickers...Yeah.  You know what you're getting there because it says "KING SIZE" in all caps!  There's no surprise.  That "KING SIZE" is letting you know, "Hey fatty!   You eat me, and I see an assortment of brightly colored stretchy pants in your future."

But not here.  It's in little bitty letters on the back.  In black and white.  And NOT all caps.   

As if the fact that ONE lone cookie being a serving size isn't bad enough--one of these has 80 calories. Eighty!  They are good, but they don't deserve 80 calories.  Maybe 40.  Or even 60.  But 80!?

It's a conspiracy to keep me fat.  I just know it.

That means, each time I decide to break into them, I'm downing, on average, 400 calories!!!  FOUR HUNDRED FRICKIN' CALORIES! 

(It was then that all of it --the extra pounds, the extra sweat, the afternoon naps-- made sense...)

Moral of the story:  Never trust elves.

Also, read nutritional labels. 

{On the other hand, visit Keebler's website when you get a minute.  It's great!  There's a lot of recipes...a place where you can meet the elves (which sounds FAScinating)...and other fun stuff.}


  1. I know!! I've been seriously counting calories for just over a week now and I am SHOCKED at how many calories are in things I usually eat all the time! It makes me sad. And yeah, the weight gain totally makes sense now. We got some McDonald's gift cards, so I printed out the nutrional information for all their food. There were like 2 things I could get. I couldn't believe how many calories were in the tiniest things!! It's so frustrating, you can't let up for anything... that's where they getcha...

  2. I have tried to tell myself that if it isn't heavy, it doesn't have any calories. Apparently my spare tire didn't get the message.

  3. The better tasting those little sneaks are the worse they are for you. Cardboard is probably good for you. ;)


  5. I was at my grandma's house today and she had some of those cookies. I tried some (remember...not a big fan of chocolate) and they were soooo good! Which is a very bad thing!

  6. Holy crap!! just one cookie! isnt even worth buying them.. ive been checking labels like crazy.. which makes me feel crazy.

  7. I just checked out the nutritional facts on a bag full of Oreos just now.

    Don't ask. It'll make you very unhappy.

    Very, very unhappy.


If you can't say something nice, say it behind my back.