When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I was cast in the school play.

I don't remember what it was called or really what it was about...a school where all the kids want to do is Rock n' Roll...maybe.

I don't remember the plot either. I just remember what my part was supposed to be.

I was the uptight school teacher with an unruly class.

Here's the set-up:

I (being the teacher) had just scolded the class and have to leave for some reason. Exit stage right.

The class, being teacherless, decide to break into song. (I'm convinced we were the inspiration for High School Musical. I just can't make the connection yet.)

The class is rock'n and roll'n. I don't exactly remember how or why this starts.

Then I enter, again...but not fully. I'm just off stage, but still in the scene. I hear the class cuttin' loose and my first reaction is to storm into the classroom and break up the fun.

But I listen. And I pause.

My toe starts tappin'.

My fingers start snappin'.

My bootie starts to shake.

My hands wave in the air like I just don't care.

I'm doin' the twist...The mash-potato...The jitter-bug!

I put my body in, I put my body out. I put my body in and shake it all about!

The music is jumpin'.

The kids are singing.

And I'm dancing like I've never danced in all my spinster life!

Then, I join in their song! As loud as I can!

The class is stunned and their singing trails off, while mine only intensifies.

The kids look worried and settle down.

But I'm in my own Ozzy world!


I realize where I am.

I'm singing alone.

I'm dancing alone.

Quicker than it came on, my glee ends.

And I begin teaching math.

End scene.

That was the plan, anyway.

During the first rehearsal, the music teacher looked so ridiculous as he was showing me how I was supposed to dance and sing...by myself!

What?! I don't perform solo anything! And he wanted me to look like a FOOL all by myself?!

Not happening.

Too much attention for one little girl to handle.

I chickened out.

I don't remember what excuse I gave Mr. Skinnyman Mustache...but I got out of it.

Thus ending my short career on Broadway.


  1. What school were you at? Was that good ole Holmes Elementary? (Although it's not so good anymore).

  2. Yep, Holmes.

    It looks so ghetto now.

  3. That just sounds awful. I don't know why teachers think that they can impose that kind of thing on little kids. Sheesh..

  4. Hee, hee. Sad thing is is that my mom still thinks it's a good school. No way in heck I would send my kids there now. No way....

  5. You are funny! I probably would have chickened out, too.

  6. I in a class play in about 3rd or 4th grade. It was Tom Sawyer. I tried out for Becky. But I got the part of a SUNFLOWER instead. Whoopee.


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